Addiction escalating...
This song is basically stuck in my head now~
It's from Godsmack's latest album, Godsmack IV.
Excellent, excellent song!
Totally hit the spot...
--
I feel hollow... without u
So take me home and patch me up and fill me in
With colored cryans, with fruits of springs,
With love, with adoration, with everything
Just take me home and patch me up and fill me in, my darling
Then I wouldn't feel so hollow
Then I would be with you
Instead of without, in this, longingness
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Have a productive day
Just how many of us say this instead of have a good day? Very few, just you and me.
Unlike most usual greetings, the good mornings starts like this...
Things look great~ Keep the spirit up, and soon our dreams will come true!
Will have to consider:
1. English Course Plans
2. LSAT, GMAT, GRE, TOFEL (which to take?)
3. Chinese as a second language course
4. Save money
5. Competition Edu.
6. Creative-Value Chain paper (miao!)
7. Sindsay (knocking my door and getting really psychotic)
8. Tutoring
9. Job hunt (just in case)
10. A whole list of books staring at me... @@
11. Applications
This is looking good however~ ^^
--
And to think, to be in your arms, until eternity
And to think, to have your kiss, in that eternity
And to think, to have found you, in this eternity
What blessing life can be?
--
還想跑去加入日日春說
而且我想去看看施明德～雖然家裡已經下令小心（可是沒有禁止說～）
我還是喜歡政治一點～激進一點的路線～
Unlike most usual greetings, the good mornings starts like this...
Things look great~ Keep the spirit up, and soon our dreams will come true!
Will have to consider:
1. English Course Plans
2. LSAT, GMAT, GRE, TOFEL (which to take?)
3. Chinese as a second language course
4. Save money
5. Competition Edu.
6. Creative-Value Chain paper (miao!)
7. Sindsay (knocking my door and getting really psychotic)
8. Tutoring
9. Job hunt (just in case)
10. A whole list of books staring at me... @@
11. Applications
This is looking good however~ ^^
--
And to think, to be in your arms, until eternity
And to think, to have your kiss, in that eternity
And to think, to have found you, in this eternity
What blessing life can be?
--
還想跑去加入日日春說
而且我想去看看施明德～雖然家裡已經下令小心（可是沒有禁止說～）
我還是喜歡政治一點～激進一點的路線～
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Electronic Pipa
Please tell me this isn't just the most amazing and marvelous thing! It definitely is! Just imagine the beauty of this thing! What an amazing instrument! Electrified, you can do so much more with it! Perhaps, even get hardcore with it! It is absolutely the best instrument for hardcore games! Paint it in black, pitch black, with silver edges, just amazing, isn't it? Just tell me you aren't tempted with just the image of it? I really do wonder what it will be like to play metal with this instrument...
(damn... photo upload problems AGAIN)
(damn... photo upload problems AGAIN)
A double shot, please
Just listened to Deftones' music for Pulp Fiction. It started with John Travolta and Ulma Truman's entrance. WOW! What a character. JUST FASCINATING!
Feels like taking a double shot of JU combination, it fires you up, the passion, the scream, the power, the force of things.
Deftone. I rather like their music. I think they are a bit new, seemed to have came out somewhere near end of 1990s and early 2000s. There is something like 5 guys in this group (and their official website still doesn't have their bio yet... and seems still quite underground... ><) http://www.deftones.com/site .
Their music is definitely worth looking into. You can really really really feel the tension and all the explosions. Like a double shot.
*****
Courses in life, run their own way
Messes are made, in its own organized method
And we live, without our own control
In this vast sea of choatic dismay
Some laugh and plan and laugh with gain
Some laugh at those laughing because the truth is still no gain
Gain money, loose life, gain life, loose money
Gain one, loose another, natural law, it's balanced, it said
Take a double shot and ease your days
Forget the worries, forget the mays
Just ease and pass this morning and night and rays
Not missing any, not slipping away
If you just want to fast forward and think not to pay
You will wind up only unhappier yet
A double shot please, and let me here say
Just relax, let the nature have its way
Feels like taking a double shot of JU combination, it fires you up, the passion, the scream, the power, the force of things.
Deftone. I rather like their music. I think they are a bit new, seemed to have came out somewhere near end of 1990s and early 2000s. There is something like 5 guys in this group (and their official website still doesn't have their bio yet... and seems still quite underground... ><) http://www.deftones.com/site .
Their music is definitely worth looking into. You can really really really feel the tension and all the explosions. Like a double shot.
*****
Courses in life, run their own way
Messes are made, in its own organized method
And we live, without our own control
In this vast sea of choatic dismay
Some laugh and plan and laugh with gain
Some laugh at those laughing because the truth is still no gain
Gain money, loose life, gain life, loose money
Gain one, loose another, natural law, it's balanced, it said
Take a double shot and ease your days
Forget the worries, forget the mays
Just ease and pass this morning and night and rays
Not missing any, not slipping away
If you just want to fast forward and think not to pay
You will wind up only unhappier yet
A double shot please, and let me here say
Just relax, let the nature have its way
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
The Cockroach Strikes Back
For the past one week, it was hell in my room... After the discovery of the first cockroach since my return to Taiwan. I had much forgotten about these horrible things (actually, I've gone to a theropy for cockroachphobia before... the only problem is that it seems like they increased instead of decreased my fear of cockroaches). It was big, black, climbing on my walls, oily and staring right back at me with menance (shuttering at the thought). My immediate reaction was pacnick (while projecting a mental image of the cockroach flying into my mouth) and then scream. Call it the first actual concrete example of cultural shock (since the Europe I lived in simple had such a low population of these things...) or a maiden in distress... I screamed, the only problem was, either my screams were not loud enough or the prince just went to bed, no one came to my rescue as I came up with weird ideas such as spraying the damned cockroach with my table wash solution (cockroaches are afraid of soap water, I think... cuz it desolves the oil on their body which is necessary for survival). Of course, the cockroach went somewhere unheard and disappeared. I sprayed the whole closet behind this disappearance with pesticide, thinking that (how foolish) the cockroach would be dead by now (the fact that I sprayed enough to kill myself seems to apply so.
It didn't die.
Several days later, prefereably last night, the 14th of August, 2006, a new movie was playing in my room. It was "The Return of the Cockroach". As I was taking pictures to send to my beloved, Ivo, I was shocked by the entree of "Buzzzzz... (extra sharp on the Z)" then "Slap" the Cockroach looked at me right in my eyes as it stood cleared of shades on the bookshelf right above my table. (Or, in other words, it was on my table!) I gladly accepted a feeling of fright, then disgust, then revolt and finally produced something like... "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
For every cause, there is an effect. For every action, there is a consequence. I wonder why we humans seems to never remember that anyways. Suppose we are just built so, that creates more adventure and excitement in life --> hence I am writing this...
The effect of the scream was tremendous, the consequence was equally disturbing. My sister came rushing with her slippers in hand as she watched me spray pesticide in quantity (also some on my table explaining why I am feeling a bit sick sitting here) around my room chasing after the cockroach (who bested my spray) while screaming like a maniac (the fact that I was already spraying it, already attacking it, already trying to kill it, or that it is running away, it is frightened, it is more afraid of me than I am afraid of it never occurred to me for the one and half minute that I scream and scamed and jumped and leaped. It ran away, or at least, it disappeared somewhere, AGAIN! (My sister stood with awe at her sister, finding new things everyday, eh, sis?) The consequence --> "Do you know how late it is? Do you know how big the scream is? Do you know how frightening it sounded?... etc." a.k.a. My mother thought it was a murder case and she thought that the neighbors would all agree with her and then call the police and they will come and they will find that nothing is wrong and they will have to go through all this trouble just because her daughter is cock-phobic and screamed in the face of a very large, disgusting looking, black, flying cockroach and then she will loose her face. Okay... I should have tuned the screamed two notches down, but before the discovery of a "dead" cockroach... or seeing it actually coffined and taken away, I should not be able to live one night in peace in this room and that is a more frightening thought at the moment then having the cockroach.
Luckily, we discovered the cockroach (or more like I discovered) flipped over, kicking (supposively individual nerve points instead of the central nerves system) and after much discussion with a friend online who claims to be the authority of killing cockroaches, we decided to leave it for dead (and I was to leave the room for over-pesticide... getting sick and dizzy). This morning, August 15, 2006. I cleaned out my first cockroach. This might be the only benefit of having your parents walk in your room at un-announced hours, they check the cockroach for you and then all is peaceful. I threw something like 6 kleenex on top of the cockroach, some kitchen wash solution (oil-free enforced) and swept the whole thing into the toilet (after careful observation).
All is peaceful up on the closet front. From this day so forth, no food, whichever type, should appear in this room without the consent of the room-owner (ME), no soap. The floor is to be cleaned daily, and, well, everything is to be cleaned daily.
Ivo love, why can't you move to Taiwan and safe me? Or better yet, ich fahre nach Berlin, where there is a much lower count of cockroaches... but if I remember correctly, there's lot of rats... Does that mean another front must be opened while I escape from one? (DIZZY)
It didn't die.
Several days later, prefereably last night, the 14th of August, 2006, a new movie was playing in my room. It was "The Return of the Cockroach". As I was taking pictures to send to my beloved, Ivo, I was shocked by the entree of "Buzzzzz... (extra sharp on the Z)" then "Slap" the Cockroach looked at me right in my eyes as it stood cleared of shades on the bookshelf right above my table. (Or, in other words, it was on my table!) I gladly accepted a feeling of fright, then disgust, then revolt and finally produced something like... "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
For every cause, there is an effect. For every action, there is a consequence. I wonder why we humans seems to never remember that anyways. Suppose we are just built so, that creates more adventure and excitement in life --> hence I am writing this...
The effect of the scream was tremendous, the consequence was equally disturbing. My sister came rushing with her slippers in hand as she watched me spray pesticide in quantity (also some on my table explaining why I am feeling a bit sick sitting here) around my room chasing after the cockroach (who bested my spray) while screaming like a maniac (the fact that I was already spraying it, already attacking it, already trying to kill it, or that it is running away, it is frightened, it is more afraid of me than I am afraid of it never occurred to me for the one and half minute that I scream and scamed and jumped and leaped. It ran away, or at least, it disappeared somewhere, AGAIN! (My sister stood with awe at her sister, finding new things everyday, eh, sis?) The consequence --> "Do you know how late it is? Do you know how big the scream is? Do you know how frightening it sounded?... etc." a.k.a. My mother thought it was a murder case and she thought that the neighbors would all agree with her and then call the police and they will come and they will find that nothing is wrong and they will have to go through all this trouble just because her daughter is cock-phobic and screamed in the face of a very large, disgusting looking, black, flying cockroach and then she will loose her face. Okay... I should have tuned the screamed two notches down, but before the discovery of a "dead" cockroach... or seeing it actually coffined and taken away, I should not be able to live one night in peace in this room and that is a more frightening thought at the moment then having the cockroach.
Luckily, we discovered the cockroach (or more like I discovered) flipped over, kicking (supposively individual nerve points instead of the central nerves system) and after much discussion with a friend online who claims to be the authority of killing cockroaches, we decided to leave it for dead (and I was to leave the room for over-pesticide... getting sick and dizzy). This morning, August 15, 2006. I cleaned out my first cockroach. This might be the only benefit of having your parents walk in your room at un-announced hours, they check the cockroach for you and then all is peaceful. I threw something like 6 kleenex on top of the cockroach, some kitchen wash solution (oil-free enforced) and swept the whole thing into the toilet (after careful observation).
All is peaceful up on the closet front. From this day so forth, no food, whichever type, should appear in this room without the consent of the room-owner (ME), no soap. The floor is to be cleaned daily, and, well, everything is to be cleaned daily.
Ivo love, why can't you move to Taiwan and safe me? Or better yet, ich fahre nach Berlin, where there is a much lower count of cockroaches... but if I remember correctly, there's lot of rats... Does that mean another front must be opened while I escape from one? (DIZZY)
Monday, August 14, 2006
This stuff is addictive
When I was a little kid my parents disliked the whole concept of fashion and fad. Basically, I wore pass me downs until I was in high school, never went once to the hair-dresser, didn't have much chance to check out the newest albums, definitely wasn't allowed to watch MTV, and well, didn't know what in the world was going on with the music industry.
I... still don't.
First of all, coming from a strictly traditional musical family (father being an amature Chinese traditional musician, a.k.a. conservative) the musical influences ranged from Bach, Mozart, Mendelssohn, Wagner, Verdi... (yeah, these very common names) to 醉琴，天山之春，我爸自譜曲. It was either strictly violins or strictly urhu. (My only side track might be the very cute 小虎隊, which my parents also happened to adore for no particular reasons). My first comic series was about the biography of great people in the history and the world (Beethoven, Anderson, Napoleon, Nobel, etc.) My first books were the encyclopedia for children (with very very ugly pictures). My stories were concepts of morality and ethics (and people keep wondering how the hell did I turn out the way I did?). Concerning pop music, pop culture, novels, TV series, etc. Well, they weren't yet considered devilish, but I do recall having them named something from "bad influence" to "trash". My mother's opinion "How can you stand this?" My father's opinion... well... he doesn't often project opinions, he simply just attacks the instrument producing the "negative" infuence.
Second of all, coming from a family that hasn't a single clue what "rest" or what in general "good lifestyle" means, anything not work-related, education-related are often thought to be... the work of Satan (only that my family is generally pagan ((mom)) and buddhist ((dad)) so the naturally there's no such thing as Satan here). I was a weird kid as a child. To me, the mall was a place that a child was NOT allowed to go. A child being someone before she turns 18 (or even after, depending on your parents). Shopping was the hobby of the idle (which still might be true). Fashion was for the rich (which we were not). Taking a break was something to be feeling guilty for (a.k.a. watching TV, reading stories... etc. that is until I discovered my parents' tolerance for young adult fiction and science fiction <-- my mom was a Sci-Fi supporter and sorta addict for awhile). Of course, that included contacts with any pop-culture, unless you are studying it (which I ended up doing for a bit in high school... also studied eroticism <-- that was for real). We rarely took family vacations, and when we did, I walked with my father listening to his lectures on life, education, plants and so on, or else I spent the rest of the time reading (the only way to get everyone off my back is with a book opened in my lap). As for music, never got what I wanted, never a genre that just moved me enough for me to want to... basically... DIG IN!
Third of all, anything louder than my mother's speech (quite loud, actually), weren't allowed in the family until eventually my brother grew up. Why does his growing up matter? Cuz he never cared <-- none of the ethics education... enough to shut the music down and now my mother is rather trained to be tolerant to it (so this is how you deal with parents, make them tolerant). I arrived in university totally unprepared for the youth culture I was to face (was definitely expecting a world of nerds like me who'd carry books around with them everywhere). I found myself in a world of fad and fashion, a world of pop music and pop art, a world where you're not kool if you're not that! Of course, this didn't help, because I just didn't feel comfortable being all "that"! The pop music I still didn't find appealing, though at least now I feel more apart of everyone. Everything was too soft for me... until
In order to get "out" of here, I arranged for exchange student to Finland. I needed a big break, a major one, one that will allow me from going crazy and nuts. For the first 6 months in Finland I did nothing, and I really mean nothing, except date guys and sleep and smoke and get sick a lot. At the beginning of the second semester, I did relatively better, but still horribly. I was still sick and still trying to figure things out, figure the world out, figure myself out. Having been not apart of the world for so long, it wasn't easy for me to melt in with people, to understand people, to understand the culture around me. But surprisingly, I did manage to fit in, and better than I expected. I fitted into the group that I used to laugh at when I was a kid finding that the groups with the same status at the present isn't the same as those in childhood. All this is great and good, all this helped me take on a more positive look on life, but there was still something missing in my life. I listened to hip-hop (got criticized several time for saying that I like it... and I agree with the criticism now... because I was never enthusiastic about it!), rap (not enthusiastic either) which I came to like because they were popular culture, came to like reggaeton because it is easy to dance to (very dirty), Chinese music because I've always listened to those (Still adore them)... But missing one major genre... until this weird French guy Quintin basically just smashed this music in my face on my visit to his home.
***
Characteristics of a metal head: long hair, black wardrobe, leather bands... etc. Extreme --> Goth... Less extreme --> Punk... my original fav of style: long hair, black wardrobe, leather bands, silverware w/ skulls, scorpions... etc. In other words, I wasn't far from the style already. My fav things in life: anything hardcore. My childhood: filled with hatred for the inhumanity of humans and had the concept that the cruelist creatures in the world are humans (hence the fantasy that the world is either controlled by trees or little aliens from other space... or the fantasy that I am a martian, which might still be true). Loved: vampires, blood, smashing things <-- anger management? My first boyfriend (okay, if you can call that a boyfriend... when I was 12, and we never did anything but talk) was actually in a band... who actually was into punk music... which... surprisingly, I never got influenced with... or maybe I did, but I just never noticed. I just loved the black leather jacket and boots he always wore, and the paleness of his skin. Maybe also a little bit of the sentimental violence he had (a bit self-destructive).
Metal heads also "mush", which... I never did "mush" much with... Will I ever want to go "mushing"? Actually, not really, maybe in private, but definitely no interest in public mushing... too much physical contact, and definitely a very painful sounding process. Yet, from my past expriences with chucking people on ice, I do have reasons to believe that I probably won't be such a bad musher, maybe I'll try it one of these days (I've chucked hockey players, football players... during my childish years) after I've learned some self-protection arts!
***
Anyways, Quintin (side-track is the reason of my long writings) introduced me to metal music (was introduced to rock by Johanna). Now, just maybe, I've found exactly the thing I had been looking for in my life. That sounds which fills up the emptiness inside. The music isn't just thrilling, it was life-giving! (The only problem is it is also either very tiring or very energetic to listen to it) It fitted with every fiber of my understanding of what good music should feel like (Prefer the newer ones to the older ones). There was Rage Against the Machine, Rammstein, the Rasmus, Apocalyptic, Pantera, Metallica, Marilyn Manson, Drowning Pool, Disturbed, etc. Now I feel like I need to know more and more and more and more of this stuff. I can spend just days after days and after more days just listening to the different tones, keys, styles of these music (and trying to figure out how I can fit the instrument I play into this... which would be weird... because I play 琵琶).
This stuff is addictive! Now I know what it means to be addicted to music. All hail the metal heads! And me out of my crack-pot butterfly cocoon~
I... still don't.
First of all, coming from a strictly traditional musical family (father being an amature Chinese traditional musician, a.k.a. conservative) the musical influences ranged from Bach, Mozart, Mendelssohn, Wagner, Verdi... (yeah, these very common names) to 醉琴，天山之春，我爸自譜曲. It was either strictly violins or strictly urhu. (My only side track might be the very cute 小虎隊, which my parents also happened to adore for no particular reasons). My first comic series was about the biography of great people in the history and the world (Beethoven, Anderson, Napoleon, Nobel, etc.) My first books were the encyclopedia for children (with very very ugly pictures). My stories were concepts of morality and ethics (and people keep wondering how the hell did I turn out the way I did?). Concerning pop music, pop culture, novels, TV series, etc. Well, they weren't yet considered devilish, but I do recall having them named something from "bad influence" to "trash". My mother's opinion "How can you stand this?" My father's opinion... well... he doesn't often project opinions, he simply just attacks the instrument producing the "negative" infuence.
Second of all, coming from a family that hasn't a single clue what "rest" or what in general "good lifestyle" means, anything not work-related, education-related are often thought to be... the work of Satan (only that my family is generally pagan ((mom)) and buddhist ((dad)) so the naturally there's no such thing as Satan here). I was a weird kid as a child. To me, the mall was a place that a child was NOT allowed to go. A child being someone before she turns 18 (or even after, depending on your parents). Shopping was the hobby of the idle (which still might be true). Fashion was for the rich (which we were not). Taking a break was something to be feeling guilty for (a.k.a. watching TV, reading stories... etc. that is until I discovered my parents' tolerance for young adult fiction and science fiction <-- my mom was a Sci-Fi supporter and sorta addict for awhile). Of course, that included contacts with any pop-culture, unless you are studying it (which I ended up doing for a bit in high school... also studied eroticism <-- that was for real). We rarely took family vacations, and when we did, I walked with my father listening to his lectures on life, education, plants and so on, or else I spent the rest of the time reading (the only way to get everyone off my back is with a book opened in my lap). As for music, never got what I wanted, never a genre that just moved me enough for me to want to... basically... DIG IN!
Third of all, anything louder than my mother's speech (quite loud, actually), weren't allowed in the family until eventually my brother grew up. Why does his growing up matter? Cuz he never cared <-- none of the ethics education... enough to shut the music down and now my mother is rather trained to be tolerant to it (so this is how you deal with parents, make them tolerant). I arrived in university totally unprepared for the youth culture I was to face (was definitely expecting a world of nerds like me who'd carry books around with them everywhere). I found myself in a world of fad and fashion, a world of pop music and pop art, a world where you're not kool if you're not that! Of course, this didn't help, because I just didn't feel comfortable being all "that"! The pop music I still didn't find appealing, though at least now I feel more apart of everyone. Everything was too soft for me... until
In order to get "out" of here, I arranged for exchange student to Finland. I needed a big break, a major one, one that will allow me from going crazy and nuts. For the first 6 months in Finland I did nothing, and I really mean nothing, except date guys and sleep and smoke and get sick a lot. At the beginning of the second semester, I did relatively better, but still horribly. I was still sick and still trying to figure things out, figure the world out, figure myself out. Having been not apart of the world for so long, it wasn't easy for me to melt in with people, to understand people, to understand the culture around me. But surprisingly, I did manage to fit in, and better than I expected. I fitted into the group that I used to laugh at when I was a kid finding that the groups with the same status at the present isn't the same as those in childhood. All this is great and good, all this helped me take on a more positive look on life, but there was still something missing in my life. I listened to hip-hop (got criticized several time for saying that I like it... and I agree with the criticism now... because I was never enthusiastic about it!), rap (not enthusiastic either) which I came to like because they were popular culture, came to like reggaeton because it is easy to dance to (very dirty), Chinese music because I've always listened to those (Still adore them)... But missing one major genre... until this weird French guy Quintin basically just smashed this music in my face on my visit to his home.
***
Characteristics of a metal head: long hair, black wardrobe, leather bands... etc. Extreme --> Goth... Less extreme --> Punk... my original fav of style: long hair, black wardrobe, leather bands, silverware w/ skulls, scorpions... etc. In other words, I wasn't far from the style already. My fav things in life: anything hardcore. My childhood: filled with hatred for the inhumanity of humans and had the concept that the cruelist creatures in the world are humans (hence the fantasy that the world is either controlled by trees or little aliens from other space... or the fantasy that I am a martian, which might still be true). Loved: vampires, blood, smashing things <-- anger management? My first boyfriend (okay, if you can call that a boyfriend... when I was 12, and we never did anything but talk) was actually in a band... who actually was into punk music... which... surprisingly, I never got influenced with... or maybe I did, but I just never noticed. I just loved the black leather jacket and boots he always wore, and the paleness of his skin. Maybe also a little bit of the sentimental violence he had (a bit self-destructive).
Metal heads also "mush", which... I never did "mush" much with... Will I ever want to go "mushing"? Actually, not really, maybe in private, but definitely no interest in public mushing... too much physical contact, and definitely a very painful sounding process. Yet, from my past expriences with chucking people on ice, I do have reasons to believe that I probably won't be such a bad musher, maybe I'll try it one of these days (I've chucked hockey players, football players... during my childish years) after I've learned some self-protection arts!
***
Anyways, Quintin (side-track is the reason of my long writings) introduced me to metal music (was introduced to rock by Johanna). Now, just maybe, I've found exactly the thing I had been looking for in my life. That sounds which fills up the emptiness inside. The music isn't just thrilling, it was life-giving! (The only problem is it is also either very tiring or very energetic to listen to it) It fitted with every fiber of my understanding of what good music should feel like (Prefer the newer ones to the older ones). There was Rage Against the Machine, Rammstein, the Rasmus, Apocalyptic, Pantera, Metallica, Marilyn Manson, Drowning Pool, Disturbed, etc. Now I feel like I need to know more and more and more and more of this stuff. I can spend just days after days and after more days just listening to the different tones, keys, styles of these music (and trying to figure out how I can fit the instrument I play into this... which would be weird... because I play 琵琶).
This stuff is addictive! Now I know what it means to be addicted to music. All hail the metal heads! And me out of my crack-pot butterfly cocoon~
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