http://www.daflea.com
We are currently stuck at the airport. Me Team and me. Which reminds me that we should have group pictures on the website.
Still an hour to go before taking the flight. Since there's nothing much else to do, I am sitting here relaxing myself quite a bit. It's a very interesting feeling, actually. Having been working like... 24 hours max for the past few weeks, it's... sensational when you find yourself sitting in a place where... no one will bother you, you are completely alone, and... there's nothing in a hurry to do.
Laver already fell asleep. Poor guys. I was a tyrant and ordered that he keep me company while I worked on the business plan the night before. A bit cruel, but... oh well... company helps. Neither one of us slept, but the result is a promotion video and a business plan. Both are not as finely done as I had hoped, but... we will improve when we get back, I guess.
Inja is reading a book. He's a fascinating guy. He is either working, laughing, reading, thinking, creating, joking, lecturing, or... something on that side. He's passionate, that is for sure. :)
Okay... time to catch the plane. :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
What's Happening in China?!
http://blog.roodo.com/gamy543/archives/1884599.html
Hilarious... really... ><
Hilarious... really... ><
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Butterfly" By Performing Monkeys
Funny... really funny looking...
Butterfly on poppy
Accidental discovery... a parrot headbanging to Artic Monkey
Okay... this is supposed to be bad for their brains, right?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that's more like it~
--
The story must go on!
Friday, May 25, 2007
hum
And just nothing nice can come out of you, can it?
no compliments... even at this moment, when i am crushed...
would you like to see me crushed again?
no compliments... even at this moment, when i am crushed...
would you like to see me crushed again?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Thrilling truth
Discovered a thrilling truth.
The reason that despite the fact I post a lot on blogs I actually don't so frequently talk about what I am doing, or even if I do talk about what I am doing, I always code it, (now, if you every read my bbs board, you will see this following factor quite clearly), or else I'll have the whole msg, post, blog locked/invisible/private/not public, etc., whatever....
What exactly is my infatuation with privacy?!
Despite my envy at seeing how marvelous other people's lives are, how many things they are doing, and WOW...
I forgot... I'm doing quite a bit, only that I don't have the gut/ability/desire/want/need to tell... @@
--
What more can I ask for in life?
A bit more sleep, maybe... :P
The reason that despite the fact I post a lot on blogs I actually don't so frequently talk about what I am doing, or even if I do talk about what I am doing, I always code it, (now, if you every read my bbs board, you will see this following factor quite clearly), or else I'll have the whole msg, post, blog locked/invisible/private/not public, etc., whatever....
What exactly is my infatuation with privacy?!
Despite my envy at seeing how marvelous other people's lives are, how many things they are doing, and WOW...
I forgot... I'm doing quite a bit, only that I don't have the gut/ability/desire/want/need to tell... @@
--
What more can I ask for in life?
A bit more sleep, maybe... :P
Apocalyptica
Back to addiction... need someone to knock me back into work or else I know I'll be sitting here listening to their music all day and feeling it move me from the depth... way down inside... (need to check their tour time)
hot hot hot hot hot!!!!! (great.... now how am i going to sleep?)
--
I think they have a new Album coming up. Will have to order it from abroad, or else... hum... going to LA for a few hours next week... can make a few snip purchases... :P
07.Dez.2007 20:00 Melkweg Amsterdam <-- sounds tempting
http://www.themerchsociety.de/apocalyptica/index.php?agnr=1567&PHPSESSID=931d27efb9bca3e2302dae4ca536e12d
Want this... ><
hot hot hot hot hot!!!!! (great.... now how am i going to sleep?)
--
I think they have a new Album coming up. Will have to order it from abroad, or else... hum... going to LA for a few hours next week... can make a few snip purchases... :P
07.Dez.2007 20:00 Melkweg Amsterdam <-- sounds tempting
http://www.themerchsociety.de/apocalyptica/index.php?agnr=1567&PHPSESSID=931d27efb9bca3e2302dae4ca536e12d
Want this... ><
The necessities in the morning
Heavy load of Godsmack at the moment...
I should put together a breakfast CD... :P
--
That and the goddamned rash! why the fuck is it still so persistant!
--
Another necessity in the morning, blogging, youtubing, flickring, and.... soon... DaFleaing. <-- I sense the addiction
What's the general view on need of privacy online? (well, you're online anways, what do you expect?)
--
Oh... and let's get the business running
I should put together a breakfast CD... :P
--
That and the goddamned rash! why the fuck is it still so persistant!
--
Another necessity in the morning, blogging, youtubing, flickring, and.... soon... DaFleaing. <-- I sense the addiction
What's the general view on need of privacy online? (well, you're online anways, what do you expect?)
--
Oh... and let's get the business running
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Know you don't like this... but
please not before 29... nothing superstitious...
just... despite the desire, i think the time isn't right before then...
just... despite the desire, i think the time isn't right before then...
ambitions
I can feel the full of it in the heart
But... afraid to loose too much with this ambition...
Yet, knowing myself... I know that to pursue this ambition will make me a happier self...
So here I am, on the right path... to prove you all wrong...
You non-believers!
--
recent meeting w/ family members made me indeed rather furious~
But... afraid to loose too much with this ambition...
Yet, knowing myself... I know that to pursue this ambition will make me a happier self...
So here I am, on the right path... to prove you all wrong...
You non-believers!
--
recent meeting w/ family members made me indeed rather furious~
Health
What I don't understand is, even if I live a healthy life, I can never seem to manage to stay constantly healthy.
The thing is, first of all, I am allergic to... almost everything!!! Then, my skin is sensitive to almost everything... What's more?! My stomach is sensitive to almost anything...
The most problematic is the SKIN problem, actually... When you constantly have rashes... And then you have more rashes, and even more rashes... When your sensitivite to metal is... grrrr... so dense that if you touch metal for, let's say, 5 minutes, it might start a rash (serious)...
And then you get diagnosed with Eczema, and for some weird reason, Sun Allergy, and put that together with Metal allergy...
You ears, when you put earring on, will never... ever... heal...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
okay... enough screaming, just... continue living...
The thing is, first of all, I am allergic to... almost everything!!! Then, my skin is sensitive to almost everything... What's more?! My stomach is sensitive to almost anything...
The most problematic is the SKIN problem, actually... When you constantly have rashes... And then you have more rashes, and even more rashes... When your sensitivite to metal is... grrrr... so dense that if you touch metal for, let's say, 5 minutes, it might start a rash (serious)...
And then you get diagnosed with Eczema, and for some weird reason, Sun Allergy, and put that together with Metal allergy...
You ears, when you put earring on, will never... ever... heal...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
okay... enough screaming, just... continue living...
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Dreams
I think it's the childhood guy back again. This time, it's interesting. We are all (a huge crowd of girls) wearing something white, in this case, I guess it's wedding gown, except for me, I think. We are all taking a group picture. He's wearing the same black that matches his jet black hair. He stands next to me, his desires for me burning as my desires for him burns.
Then, I ran off to get a group of children who started a fire behind the rocks. I stopped it from my dream, but one of the girl have been burnt to death. I see her body right in front of me, so tiny and still burning on the inside. I noticed something wrong about the rocks, it's a trap. I tried to climb out, but cannot. I dropped down to the sand, and started running, but the escape just seems further and further away from me. And I can feel, this was his doing, he was trapping me here.
I've always dreamed of him in the past, sometimes more than a dream. This dream was also very sexual, like him leaning right into my face, him leaning right into me. I would take that as a sign of my sexual desires being unfulfilled recently (duh).
To wear a wedding dress in your dream, indicates that you are evaluating and assessing your personal relationship.
To see someone else wearing a wedding dress, suggests that you are feeling inferior or unworthy.
White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. However, in Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning.
To dream that all your clothes in the closet are white, suggests that you need to lighten up. You may have recently been feeling a little on the depressed side. Perhaps you were going through some crisis. It is time� to move on. You need to change your attitude and get a� grip of your inner emotions.
To dream that you jump over a wall, signifies that you will overcome some tough obstacles and succeed.
To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to get a good understanding and gain more information on some issue. You need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship.
To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within.
The loss of a child, signifies fallen hopes or a project.
To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed.
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering your life. Your thoughts and views are changing.
To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort. See Dream Bank: "Line Of Fire"
To see something burning, indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore.� Alternatively, it may suggests that you need to take time off for yourself and relax.
To see rocks in your dream, signifies permanence and stability as expressed in the familiar phrase "as solid as a rock". It may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship. Or you may be contemplating some changes in your life that will lay the groundwork for a more solid foundation. On the other hand rocks may also symbolize stubbornness, disharmony and unhappiness.
To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointments.
To dream that you are setting a trap, indicates that you are trying desperately to hold onto a relationship, old habits or ways.
To dream that you are trapped or caught in a trap, suggests that you are feeling confined and restricted in your job, career, health, or a personal relationship. You may be in a rut or tired of the same daily monotony.
--
Then I woke up, decided to go back to sleep to find the guy. The only problem is, when you want to find him, he is never there. When you don't want him there, he always makes sure he's in the way. Basically, I ran through series of dreams (I think about 3), where I know that I am dreaming, and that I am dreaming so that I can find him. Meaning, restless sleep.
Dreamed of Melodie and some friends of mine that I actually don't know. Dreamed of having tea with Melodie, meeting a friend of Melodie's who was interested, very much, in Melodie. Dreamed of Ivo living in one of the dorms in the building we were at, and we tried to find his room number through the mailbox, but didn't succeed.
Dreamed... many weird things.
Then, I ran off to get a group of children who started a fire behind the rocks. I stopped it from my dream, but one of the girl have been burnt to death. I see her body right in front of me, so tiny and still burning on the inside. I noticed something wrong about the rocks, it's a trap. I tried to climb out, but cannot. I dropped down to the sand, and started running, but the escape just seems further and further away from me. And I can feel, this was his doing, he was trapping me here.
I've always dreamed of him in the past, sometimes more than a dream. This dream was also very sexual, like him leaning right into my face, him leaning right into me. I would take that as a sign of my sexual desires being unfulfilled recently (duh).
To wear a wedding dress in your dream, indicates that you are evaluating and assessing your personal relationship.
To see someone else wearing a wedding dress, suggests that you are feeling inferior or unworthy.
White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. However, in Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning.
To dream that all your clothes in the closet are white, suggests that you need to lighten up. You may have recently been feeling a little on the depressed side. Perhaps you were going through some crisis. It is time� to move on. You need to change your attitude and get a� grip of your inner emotions.
To dream that you jump over a wall, signifies that you will overcome some tough obstacles and succeed.
To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to get a good understanding and gain more information on some issue. You need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship.
To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within.
The loss of a child, signifies fallen hopes or a project.
To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed.
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering your life. Your thoughts and views are changing.
To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort. See Dream Bank: "Line Of Fire"
To see something burning, indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore.� Alternatively, it may suggests that you need to take time off for yourself and relax.
To see rocks in your dream, signifies permanence and stability as expressed in the familiar phrase "as solid as a rock". It may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship. Or you may be contemplating some changes in your life that will lay the groundwork for a more solid foundation. On the other hand rocks may also symbolize stubbornness, disharmony and unhappiness.
To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointments.
To dream that you are setting a trap, indicates that you are trying desperately to hold onto a relationship, old habits or ways.
To dream that you are trapped or caught in a trap, suggests that you are feeling confined and restricted in your job, career, health, or a personal relationship. You may be in a rut or tired of the same daily monotony.
--
Then I woke up, decided to go back to sleep to find the guy. The only problem is, when you want to find him, he is never there. When you don't want him there, he always makes sure he's in the way. Basically, I ran through series of dreams (I think about 3), where I know that I am dreaming, and that I am dreaming so that I can find him. Meaning, restless sleep.
Dreamed of Melodie and some friends of mine that I actually don't know. Dreamed of having tea with Melodie, meeting a friend of Melodie's who was interested, very much, in Melodie. Dreamed of Ivo living in one of the dorms in the building we were at, and we tried to find his room number through the mailbox, but didn't succeed.
Dreamed... many weird things.
Godsmack
http://www.godsmack.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godsmack
I like the vocal's voice... and they have quite a few nice songs (couldn't find my fav. HOLLOW on youtube though)
But... I definitely don't like the vocal's look... ><
And, kool... he's a Wiccan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiccan)... Prolly explains his eccentricness...
Vodoo
I Stand Alone (Just... listen to the music... I guess not all singers are good actors... @@)
Awake (I like the drums in this one)
Whatever
Spiral
Keep Away
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godsmack
I like the vocal's voice... and they have quite a few nice songs (couldn't find my fav. HOLLOW on youtube though)
But... I definitely don't like the vocal's look... ><
And, kool... he's a Wiccan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiccan)... Prolly explains his eccentricness...
Vodoo
I Stand Alone (Just... listen to the music... I guess not all singers are good actors... @@)
Awake (I like the drums in this one)
Whatever
Spiral
Keep Away
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Anticipation
Excited, quiet, gentle anticipation...
Fierce... upcoming... :)
Feeling the blood boil again... enjoy
Fierce... upcoming... :)
Feeling the blood boil again... enjoy
Reading list
Decided to put down my reading list and if anyone feel the desire, please add to it for me... :)
I'm lacking books to read.
The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
The Poetics of Science Fiction, Peter Stockwell
The Correction, Jonathan Franzen
Psycholinguistic Models of Production, Dechert and Raupach
Competiting for the Future, Hamel Prahalad
The Idea and Practice of General Education, University of Chicago
舊金山下雨了, 王文華
國音學
實用現代漢語語法
當代語用學
華語文教學規範語理論基礎
華語語音學（上）
Love is the Killer App, Tom Sanders (would like more of his books)
網際網路法
智慧財產管理總論
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (attempting to finish), Susana Clark
Writers Dreaming, Naomi Epel
I, Asimov, Isaac Asimov
The Four Books, James legge
...
Hai had a few books of suggestion, which I would like to include into this list.
It is obvious that it is a rather messy list, unorganized, but anyways, they are all books that I find the need to read, either for sake of fun, or for work, or for business-related issues.
Any more suggestion, especially of philosophy related or history (acient) related will be welcomed.
Culture and law related, or human rights related, also welcomed.
Thanks to all the people who are nice enough to throw one or two entries into this list. :)
I'm lacking books to read.
The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
The Poetics of Science Fiction, Peter Stockwell
The Correction, Jonathan Franzen
Psycholinguistic Models of Production, Dechert and Raupach
Competiting for the Future, Hamel Prahalad
The Idea and Practice of General Education, University of Chicago
舊金山下雨了, 王文華
國音學
實用現代漢語語法
當代語用學
華語文教學規範語理論基礎
華語語音學（上）
Love is the Killer App, Tom Sanders (would like more of his books)
網際網路法
智慧財產管理總論
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (attempting to finish), Susana Clark
Writers Dreaming, Naomi Epel
I, Asimov, Isaac Asimov
The Four Books, James legge
...
Hai had a few books of suggestion, which I would like to include into this list.
It is obvious that it is a rather messy list, unorganized, but anyways, they are all books that I find the need to read, either for sake of fun, or for work, or for business-related issues.
Any more suggestion, especially of philosophy related or history (acient) related will be welcomed.
Culture and law related, or human rights related, also welcomed.
Thanks to all the people who are nice enough to throw one or two entries into this list. :)
Friday, May 18, 2007
For all ya boys out there!
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/ithinkilovemywife/trailera/
Okay... technically, i think... marriage should never get this scary...
And... well... too early to say anything...
Okay... technically, i think... marriage should never get this scary...
And... well... too early to say anything...
What is sex without love?
http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/goodluckchuck/large.html
Hear out the last line of this trailer.
Definitely on movie list... hahahahahaha
Hear out the last line of this trailer.
Definitely on movie list... hahahahahaha
Germany or the World the same?
" We were well off, otherwise we wouldn't have taken to the streets."
This is an extract from an article Ivo translated for me.
This line. It is rather tremendous, if you think about it. I wish, I can post this to the world.
The author was speaking of the comparison of Germany in 1967 and the present. Somehow I sense a degree of, hum, nostalgia. Originally, I had opposed nostalgia to an extreme, but the more I observed of the society, the more I am nostalgic. It isn't that life in the past was better or anything, since you cannot compare. I, for one, have no interest in returning to the time when women were deprived of their rights. However, I cannot but miss the times when "respect", "discipline", "organization", "authority", etc. were a part of life. When people had sense of morality, when people cared about the world and each other, when people did want too much, just enough. The time before capitalism, the time before materialism, the time before all this insane fantasy about endless worships for money. There are people with money enough to burn, and people dying from starvation. What's wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING.
(Seriously, this world makes me want to attempt to start a cult)... :P
We were well off, otherwise we wouldn't have taken to the streets.
This phrase was put in a part describing the comparison of nowaday and the past. The line before it was "Nowadays, in our times of seeming deprived authority, authority is faceless, she calls herself free market society and intimidates with globalization, she hides behind anonymous "necessities", objective requirements and appears invincible. For nowadays' youngsters it's a lot more difficult than back then." Revolution are so often started by those with the money and the power. They revolutionize without doing too much thinking, and then, changing the world, creates even more people without money and power, without means of survival.
Live it up. This is a phrase more proper for the present society than anything else. We're all trying to survive it, and forgot that we were born to "live a life". Well, we created a society that we called improvement so that we may all become a tiny robot, trying to survive in a sea of "improvements".
This is an extract from an article Ivo translated for me.
This line. It is rather tremendous, if you think about it. I wish, I can post this to the world.
The author was speaking of the comparison of Germany in 1967 and the present. Somehow I sense a degree of, hum, nostalgia. Originally, I had opposed nostalgia to an extreme, but the more I observed of the society, the more I am nostalgic. It isn't that life in the past was better or anything, since you cannot compare. I, for one, have no interest in returning to the time when women were deprived of their rights. However, I cannot but miss the times when "respect", "discipline", "organization", "authority", etc. were a part of life. When people had sense of morality, when people cared about the world and each other, when people did want too much, just enough. The time before capitalism, the time before materialism, the time before all this insane fantasy about endless worships for money. There are people with money enough to burn, and people dying from starvation. What's wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING.
(Seriously, this world makes me want to attempt to start a cult)... :P
We were well off, otherwise we wouldn't have taken to the streets.
This phrase was put in a part describing the comparison of nowaday and the past. The line before it was "Nowadays, in our times of seeming deprived authority, authority is faceless, she calls herself free market society and intimidates with globalization, she hides behind anonymous "necessities", objective requirements and appears invincible. For nowadays' youngsters it's a lot more difficult than back then." Revolution are so often started by those with the money and the power. They revolutionize without doing too much thinking, and then, changing the world, creates even more people without money and power, without means of survival.
Live it up. This is a phrase more proper for the present society than anything else. We're all trying to survive it, and forgot that we were born to "live a life". Well, we created a society that we called improvement so that we may all become a tiny robot, trying to survive in a sea of "improvements".
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The only way to survive this
The only way to survive this is not to go mad...
--
Produce, produce, produce...
Just... pour it out, damn it!
--
Produce, produce, produce...
Just... pour it out, damn it!
Popular Blog
Been reading a bit too much online these days, but will only increase... ><
Popular blogs. Been wondering about how to make my own blog popular.
Presently, I have 5 blogs.
Two on Blogger,
One on Xanga,
One on Wretch (Taiwan),
One on UDN (Taiwan).
The two on blogger are private English. Wretch is private Chinese. Xanga is experimental. UDN is for publishing purposes.
How do I make a blog truely, thrilling?
Would like the experience of having hundreds of people attached to my blog day and night, reading up heated stories, commenting on them with the same degree of heat and passion.
@@
*sigh*
It is definitely something worth thinking about.
Prolly... more photo taking will make a difference, in the end.
Popular blogs. Been wondering about how to make my own blog popular.
Presently, I have 5 blogs.
Two on Blogger,
One on Xanga,
One on Wretch (Taiwan),
One on UDN (Taiwan).
The two on blogger are private English. Wretch is private Chinese. Xanga is experimental. UDN is for publishing purposes.
How do I make a blog truely, thrilling?
Would like the experience of having hundreds of people attached to my blog day and night, reading up heated stories, commenting on them with the same degree of heat and passion.
@@
*sigh*
It is definitely something worth thinking about.
Prolly... more photo taking will make a difference, in the end.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Something that reminded me of something
Just read something that reminded me of something and so I replied it with something, which I hope would have been something relating to the something I read and would have been something helpful to the person who wrote the something I read which I replied something to.
This is the longest something sentence I've written so far, I think.... @@ Indeed fitting the theory of crap and shit and domination of the world.
Suddenly feel like propaganding this blog and the theory/religion of crap and shit... wonder if it will ever reach the same evangelist position as that of the Scientology (someone tried once with a theory that we all came from the toe-nail germs).
Douglas Adams would have agreed with my actions, I am certain. Not sure about Asimov, he might look at me and say, "What's you got to do with this whole crap and shit thing?"
--
A friend of mine, someone I once commented to be talented, extremely, of arts and literature, is now locked up (guess where).
A friend of mine, someone I can actually relate to extremely, is now in a state I fear day and night that one day I will be in.
That same friend of mine, stroke a queer but long desired conversation within me and myself and my other friend in relation.
--
We never got out of Finland.
Was just reading Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. At the same time wondering the reason why this book, in particular, made me feel quite uncomfortable about several things. Then, I finally understood. It reminded me extremely of my feelings for Finland. The description of Faerie and the people there, are so precisely the way I see Finland that... I am intrigued by it.
Finland. Faerie. Arthur. Elves. Fantasy. Magic.
Are these not the things I craved for all my life, longing to be a part of?
We never got out of Finland.
For many exchange students, it was merely an experience. For me, it was more like a life-time.
Unlike many exchange students, I experienced... too different a thing.
I saw the magic in the woods, the elves dancing.
I saw Merlin in display, I saw the land of the light and the land of the gloom.
I saw pink mists flying, and I saw discipline in the midst of decadence.
I saw myself melt away to become something/someone I was not, and then back again to someone I will never be again.
Like a wash in the pagan river, like a path to Avalon... like leaving the reality behind...
I never came back...
Maybe that is why I am not satisfied with my life as present, no matter what I do... I cannot put my heart here, because I've lost it there... In Finland... in Germany (duh)... in Europe...
Because I never woke up from the pink mist of the morning rising on the frozen lake while I walked with Peter Pan to his island of Neverland. Peter Pan flew away, and I lost myself in the mists, forgetting the key to flying.
How I long for Finland. I just long for Finland. The place I had called home the day I arrived, and a country where I could belong. At least there, I am so foreign, I wasn't foreign anymore.
This is the longest something sentence I've written so far, I think.... @@ Indeed fitting the theory of crap and shit and domination of the world.
Suddenly feel like propaganding this blog and the theory/religion of crap and shit... wonder if it will ever reach the same evangelist position as that of the Scientology (someone tried once with a theory that we all came from the toe-nail germs).
Douglas Adams would have agreed with my actions, I am certain. Not sure about Asimov, he might look at me and say, "What's you got to do with this whole crap and shit thing?"
--
A friend of mine, someone I once commented to be talented, extremely, of arts and literature, is now locked up (guess where).
A friend of mine, someone I can actually relate to extremely, is now in a state I fear day and night that one day I will be in.
That same friend of mine, stroke a queer but long desired conversation within me and myself and my other friend in relation.
--
We never got out of Finland.
Was just reading Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. At the same time wondering the reason why this book, in particular, made me feel quite uncomfortable about several things. Then, I finally understood. It reminded me extremely of my feelings for Finland. The description of Faerie and the people there, are so precisely the way I see Finland that... I am intrigued by it.
Finland. Faerie. Arthur. Elves. Fantasy. Magic.
Are these not the things I craved for all my life, longing to be a part of?
We never got out of Finland.
For many exchange students, it was merely an experience. For me, it was more like a life-time.
Unlike many exchange students, I experienced... too different a thing.
I saw the magic in the woods, the elves dancing.
I saw Merlin in display, I saw the land of the light and the land of the gloom.
I saw pink mists flying, and I saw discipline in the midst of decadence.
I saw myself melt away to become something/someone I was not, and then back again to someone I will never be again.
Like a wash in the pagan river, like a path to Avalon... like leaving the reality behind...
I never came back...
Maybe that is why I am not satisfied with my life as present, no matter what I do... I cannot put my heart here, because I've lost it there... In Finland... in Germany (duh)... in Europe...
Because I never woke up from the pink mist of the morning rising on the frozen lake while I walked with Peter Pan to his island of Neverland. Peter Pan flew away, and I lost myself in the mists, forgetting the key to flying.
How I long for Finland. I just long for Finland. The place I had called home the day I arrived, and a country where I could belong. At least there, I am so foreign, I wasn't foreign anymore.
happy thoughts
Someone, because of me... found her dream... :) come true...
so... i CAN do something good for the world after all... even if it was such a small and simple act... :)
contentment, is true happiness... :)
so... i CAN do something good for the world after all... even if it was such a small and simple act... :)
contentment, is true happiness... :)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Why is it so complicated?
Hum...
Why isn't it just simple? Why is it so complicated? Why can't we just think about what makes users happy? Instead, we have to think all day long about how to gain profit..... the point is letting users be happy about using the service in the first place...
*sigh*
Why isn't it just simple? Why is it so complicated? Why can't we just think about what makes users happy? Instead, we have to think all day long about how to gain profit..... the point is letting users be happy about using the service in the first place...
*sigh*
Entired annoyed
Very tired of stupid assholes who would just spend his days complaining about whether or not a person is capable of doing something or not... when he isn't doing much of anything he's supposed to be doing... so other people have to pick up after his left-over unfinished crap...
grrrr...
This, is the kind of an employee... you'd fire, seriously...
grrrr...
This, is the kind of an employee... you'd fire, seriously...
Monday, May 14, 2007
A different Ben Cox
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6653969.stm
U r much luckier, Ben Cox of The Netherlands. (@@)
U r much luckier, Ben Cox of The Netherlands. (@@)
Introducing!
Teapacks! (Israel)
http://www.myspace.com/teapacks
hahahahahaha
they are sooo funny... (in total good mood from all the funnies tonight)
http://www.myspace.com/teapacks
hahahahahaha
they are sooo funny... (in total good mood from all the funnies tonight)
THIS IS FUNNY AS HELL
He deserved a lot of credits for this, really..... OMG.... lol (I can't stop laughing at the last line from the first clip...)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Scientology
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6650545.stm
Call it wicked. :P
Wonder if someday someone would do something like this about direct sales organizations.
Brainwash... it seems the easiest way to control and manipulation.
Call it wicked. :P
Wonder if someday someone would do something like this about direct sales organizations.
Brainwash... it seems the easiest way to control and manipulation.
Eurovision 2007
http://www.eurovision.tv/
This is the moment when you think: FUCK! WHY AM I NOT IN HELSINKI THIS YEAR?!
And decide that I really did waste a year in Helsinki (cuz I could have applied for school there and never had to miss Eurovision... grrr...)...
---
And just to think, a friend of mine went to the afterparty and the rehearsal... *sigh*
This is the moment when you think: FUCK! WHY AM I NOT IN HELSINKI THIS YEAR?!
And decide that I really did waste a year in Helsinki (cuz I could have applied for school there and never had to miss Eurovision... grrr...)...
---
And just to think, a friend of mine went to the afterparty and the rehearsal... *sigh*
今天看到最好的文章～跟大家分享
你什麼都有了嗎？ ◎李家同/文
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我在柏克萊念博士的時候，交到了一位美國好朋友，他叫約翰，我當時是單身漢，他已婚，太太非常和善，常找我到他家吃飯，我有請必到，變成他們家經常的座上客。
約翰夫婦都是學生，當然收入不多，可是家裡卻佈置得舒適極了，他們會買便宜貨，收集了不少的瓷娃娃，有吹喇叭的小男孩，有打傘的小女孩，也有小男孩在摸狗等等的娃娃，滿屋子都是這種擺設，窗臺上更是放了一大排。我每次到他們家，都會把玩這些瓷娃娃。
約翰告訴我他們的瓷娃娃都是從舊貨店和舊貨攤買來的，有一天，我發現一家舊貨店，也去買了一個瓷娃娃，是一個高高瘦瘦的少女，低著頭，一臉憂鬱的表情，等約翰夫婦再請我去的時候，我將他帶去，他們大為高興，告訴我這是西班牙Lladro娃娃，這家名牌公司的娃娃個個又高又瘦，也都帶著憂鬱的表情。他們一直想要有這麼一個娃娃，可是始終沒有看到，沒有想到我買到了。
我們先後拿到博士以後就各奔前程，約翰的研究是有關感測器，畢業後不久就自己開了一家公司，用感測器作一些防盜器材，他很快地大量使用電腦，生意也越來越大，成為美國最大的保全系統公司的老闆。由於中東問題，美國飛機好幾次被恐怖分子所劫持，約翰的公司得了大的合約，替美國大的機場設計安全系統，大概畢業二十年以後，他的身價已是快四億美金。
有一年，我決定去找他，他欣然答應接待我，那時已近耶誕節，我先去他的辦公室，他親自帶我去看他的系統展覽室，我才知道現在的汽車防盜系統幾乎都是他們的產品，體積都極小，孩子帶了，父母永遠可以知道他在那裡，我也發現美國很多監獄都由他們設計安全系統，以防止犯人逃脫。看完展覽以後，約翰開車和我一起到他家去。
那一天天氣變壞了，天空飄雪，約翰的家在紐約州的鄉下，全是有錢人住的地方，當他指給我看他的住家時，我簡直以為我自己在看電影，如此大的莊園，沒有一點圍牆，可是誰都看出這是私人土地，告示牌也寫得一清二楚，有保全系統，閒人莫入，約翰告訴我他的家有三層紅外線的保護，除非開飛機，否則決不可能闖入的，如果硬闖的話，不僅附近的警衛會知道，家裡的挪威納犬也會大舉出動，我這才知道約翰的公司會代人訓練這些長像兇猛的狗。
約翰的太太在門口迎接我，我們一見如故，他們的家當然是優雅之至，一進門，迎面而來的就是一個明朝的青花瓷花瓶，花瓶裡插滿了長莖的鮮花，後來才發現約翰夫婦愛上了明朝的青花瓷，滿屋子都是，他們的壁紙也一概用淡色的小花為主，好像是配這些青花瓷的。
我住的客房，附設了一個浴室，這間浴室的洗澡盆和洗臉盆都是仿製青花瓷，約翰告訴我這是他從日本訂作來的，他還訂作了一個青花瓷器，一按，肥皂水就出來了，浴室的瓷磚來自伊朗，也是青色的，聽說伊朗某一皇宮外牆就用這種瓷磚，我不敢問他們是否這也是訂作的。
這座豪宅當然有極為複雜的安全系統，我發現，入夜以後，最好不要四處走動，恐怕連到廚房裡拿杯水喝都不可能，必須打電話給主人，由他解除了系統，才可以去。
約翰家裡靜得不得了，聽不到任何聲音，可是每隔一小時，他們的落地鐘就會敲出悅耳的聲音，這個鐘聲和倫敦國會大廈的大鵬鐘一模一樣。
約翰唯一的女兒在哈佛念書，那一天要開車回來，到了六點，還沒有回來，他們夫婦都有點不安，原來這個女孩子厭惡有錢人的生活方式，開一部老爺車，也不肯帶行動電話，他們擔心她老爺車會中途拋錨。
我們一直等到八點，才接到女孩子的電話，果真她的車子壞了，可是她現在安然無恙，在人家家裡，要約翰去接她。約翰弄清楚地址以後，就要我一起去接他女兒，雪已經下得很大了，他女兒落腳的地方是一幢小房子，屋主是個年青的男孩，一臉年青人的稚氣表情。
他女兒告訴我們，她車子壞了以後，就去呼救，沒有想到家家戶戶都裝了爸爸公司設計的安全系統，使她完全無法可施。總算有一家門口有一個電話，可是屋主坦白地告訴她，屋主本人是一個弱女子，在等她丈夫回來，不敢放她進去，因為她不知道會不會受騙。
她女兒說當她被拒的時候，她相信家家戶戶都在放聖誕音樂，平安夜，聖善夜，聖誕節應該是充滿了愛與關懷的日子，可是她卻被大家拒於千里之外，虧得她最後找到了這一座又破又舊的小房子，她知道這座小房子是不會用安全系統的，果然也找到了這位和氣而友善的屋主。
這位年輕的男孩子一面給我熱茶喝，一面發表他一個奇特的看法，他說家家戶戶都裝了安全系統，耶穌會到那裡去降生呢？可憐的聖母瑪利亞，可能連馬槽都找不到。約翰聽了這些話，當然很不是滋味，可是他一再謝謝這位好心的年青人，也邀他一起去吃晚飯，年青人一聽到有人請他吃晚飯，立刻答應了，我想起我年青的時候，也是如此，從未拒絕過任何一頓晚飯的邀約。
晚餐在一張長桌上吃的，夫妻兩人分坐長桌的兩端，一位臉上沒有表情穿制服的僕人來回送菜，每一道菜都是精點，每一種餐具更是講究無比，可是我想起當年我們在約翰家廚房吃晚飯情形，我覺得當年的飯好吃多了。
約翰的女兒顯得有點不自然，那位年青人卻是最快樂的人，有多少吃多少，一副不吃白不吃的表情，吃完飯，已經十點了，約翰的女兒將年青人送走了。我卻有一個疑問，那些可愛的瓷娃娃到那裡去了？我不敢問，因為答案一定是很尷尬的。
第二天約翰送我到機場，他似乎稍微沉默了一點，下了汽車，他碰到另一部汽車，立刻警鈴大作，這又是他的傑作，自作自受地，我假裝沒有聽到，可是我看到他一臉不自然的表情。
他也無法送我去候機室，安全系統規定送客者早就該留步了。
一年以後，我忽然在《華爾街日報》上看到一則消息，約翰將他的公司賣掉了，他一夜間得到了四億多美金，他的豪華住宅賣了五百萬美金，約翰在記者會上宣布，他留下一個零頭，用四億多美金成立一個慈善基金會，基金會的董事們全是社會上有頭有臉的人，他不是董事，他也不會過問這個基金會如何行善，他完全信任這些董事們。幾天以後，約翰夫婦不見了，他的親人替他們保密，他的女兒已和那位年青人結了婚，到非洲去幫助窮人了，這位科技名人就此失蹤了。
可是我有把握約翰會找我的，因為我們的友誼比較特別，果真我收到他的信了，他告訴我他現在住在英國一個偏遠的鄉下，這裡沒有一家人用安全系統，他給我他的電話和地址，可是他故意不給我他的門牌號碼，他叫我去找他們夫婦二人，而且他說我一定會找到他家的。
我找了一個機會去英國開會，也和約翰約好了去看他的時間，下了火車，我找到了那條街，那條街的一邊面對一大片山谷，沒有一幢房子，所以我只要看街的另一邊就可以了。
我在街上閒逛，忽然看到一幢房子的落地大玻璃窗與眾不同，因為這個窗臺上放滿了瓷娃娃，好可愛的瓷娃娃，我想這一定是一家舊貨店，我想起約翰夫婦喜歡瓷娃娃，決定進去買一個送他們，沒有想到當我抬起頭來的時候，我看到約翰在裡面，這不是舊貨店，這是他們的家，只是他們的家完全對外開放，又放滿了瓷娃娃，才使我誤解了。
約翰夫婦熱情地招待我，他們的家比以前的豪宅小太多了，據他們說，這座小房子比他們當年佣人住的房子還小，也比他們當年的花房小，我記起他們家在冬天也有如此多的花，原來是有花房的緣故。
他們的明朝青花瓷器完全不見了，約翰夫婦將那些瓷器捐給了紐約的一家博物館，他們夫婦二人認為人類文明的結晶，應該由人類全體所共享。
他們的園子也小得很，可是約翰夫婦仍然在園子裡種了花草，他們的後園對著一大片森林，約翰說據說當年羅賓漢就出沒在這一片森林裡，而他們所面對的山谷由英國詩人協會所擁有，他們不會開發這片荒原的，英國人喜歡荒原，約翰夫婦也養成了在荒原中散步的習慣。
約翰告訴我為什麼他最後決定放棄一切。他的公司得到了一個大合同，改善整個加州監獄的安全系統，他發現了加州花在監獄上的錢比花在教育上的還多，而他呢？他越來越有錢，卻越來越像住在一座監獄裡面。美國人一向標榜「自由而且開放社會」，其實美國人卻越來越將自己封閉起來，越來越使自己失去自由。約翰決心不再拼命賺錢，只為了找回失去了好久的自由。
約翰夫婦在附近的一家高中教書，這所學校其時有點像專科學校，約翰教線路設計，學生所設計出來的線路經常得獎，他捐了很多錢給這所學校，使這所學校有很好的圖書館和實驗室，他太太在那裡教英文。
約翰告訴我他們兩人的薪水就足足應付他們的生活了，因為他們生活得很簡單，平時騎自行車上班，連汽油都用得很少。
當我們坐下來吃晚飯的時候，我才發現我的那座女孩子瓷娃娃放在桌子中間，他們當時念舊，捨不得丟掉那些瓷娃娃，可是替他們設計內部裝潢的設計師不讓他擺設這些不值錢的東西，現在那些值錢的東西都不見了，不值錢的瓷娃娃又出現了。我總算吃到了我當年常吃到的晚飯，也重新享受到約翰夫婦家中的溫暖。
我離開的時候，約翰送我去火車站，他告訴我他還有一些錢，他的女兒不會要他的這些錢，等他和太太都去世了，他的錢就全部捐出去了。
我說我好佩服他，因為他已經捐出他的全部所有，他忽然一笑，告訴我他仍然有一樣寶物，沒有捐掉。我對此大為好奇，問他是什麼，他說他要賣一個關子，他用一張小紙寫了下來，交給我，但叫我現在不要看，等火車開了以後再看，上面寫的是他不會捐出去的寶物。
火車開了，我和站在月台上的約翰揮手再見，等我看不見他以後，打開了那張紙，紙上寫的是「我的靈魂」。
我坐在火車裡，不禁一直想著，有些人什麼都有，卻失落了自己的靈魂。
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我在柏克萊念博士的時候，交到了一位美國好朋友，他叫約翰，我當時是單身漢，他已婚，太太非常和善，常找我到他家吃飯，我有請必到，變成他們家經常的座上客。
約翰夫婦都是學生，當然收入不多，可是家裡卻佈置得舒適極了，他們會買便宜貨，收集了不少的瓷娃娃，有吹喇叭的小男孩，有打傘的小女孩，也有小男孩在摸狗等等的娃娃，滿屋子都是這種擺設，窗臺上更是放了一大排。我每次到他們家，都會把玩這些瓷娃娃。
約翰告訴我他們的瓷娃娃都是從舊貨店和舊貨攤買來的，有一天，我發現一家舊貨店，也去買了一個瓷娃娃，是一個高高瘦瘦的少女，低著頭，一臉憂鬱的表情，等約翰夫婦再請我去的時候，我將他帶去，他們大為高興，告訴我這是西班牙Lladro娃娃，這家名牌公司的娃娃個個又高又瘦，也都帶著憂鬱的表情。他們一直想要有這麼一個娃娃，可是始終沒有看到，沒有想到我買到了。
我們先後拿到博士以後就各奔前程，約翰的研究是有關感測器，畢業後不久就自己開了一家公司，用感測器作一些防盜器材，他很快地大量使用電腦，生意也越來越大，成為美國最大的保全系統公司的老闆。由於中東問題，美國飛機好幾次被恐怖分子所劫持，約翰的公司得了大的合約，替美國大的機場設計安全系統，大概畢業二十年以後，他的身價已是快四億美金。
有一年，我決定去找他，他欣然答應接待我，那時已近耶誕節，我先去他的辦公室，他親自帶我去看他的系統展覽室，我才知道現在的汽車防盜系統幾乎都是他們的產品，體積都極小，孩子帶了，父母永遠可以知道他在那裡，我也發現美國很多監獄都由他們設計安全系統，以防止犯人逃脫。看完展覽以後，約翰開車和我一起到他家去。
那一天天氣變壞了，天空飄雪，約翰的家在紐約州的鄉下，全是有錢人住的地方，當他指給我看他的住家時，我簡直以為我自己在看電影，如此大的莊園，沒有一點圍牆，可是誰都看出這是私人土地，告示牌也寫得一清二楚，有保全系統，閒人莫入，約翰告訴我他的家有三層紅外線的保護，除非開飛機，否則決不可能闖入的，如果硬闖的話，不僅附近的警衛會知道，家裡的挪威納犬也會大舉出動，我這才知道約翰的公司會代人訓練這些長像兇猛的狗。
約翰的太太在門口迎接我，我們一見如故，他們的家當然是優雅之至，一進門，迎面而來的就是一個明朝的青花瓷花瓶，花瓶裡插滿了長莖的鮮花，後來才發現約翰夫婦愛上了明朝的青花瓷，滿屋子都是，他們的壁紙也一概用淡色的小花為主，好像是配這些青花瓷的。
我住的客房，附設了一個浴室，這間浴室的洗澡盆和洗臉盆都是仿製青花瓷，約翰告訴我這是他從日本訂作來的，他還訂作了一個青花瓷器，一按，肥皂水就出來了，浴室的瓷磚來自伊朗，也是青色的，聽說伊朗某一皇宮外牆就用這種瓷磚，我不敢問他們是否這也是訂作的。
這座豪宅當然有極為複雜的安全系統，我發現，入夜以後，最好不要四處走動，恐怕連到廚房裡拿杯水喝都不可能，必須打電話給主人，由他解除了系統，才可以去。
約翰家裡靜得不得了，聽不到任何聲音，可是每隔一小時，他們的落地鐘就會敲出悅耳的聲音，這個鐘聲和倫敦國會大廈的大鵬鐘一模一樣。
約翰唯一的女兒在哈佛念書，那一天要開車回來，到了六點，還沒有回來，他們夫婦都有點不安，原來這個女孩子厭惡有錢人的生活方式，開一部老爺車，也不肯帶行動電話，他們擔心她老爺車會中途拋錨。
我們一直等到八點，才接到女孩子的電話，果真她的車子壞了，可是她現在安然無恙，在人家家裡，要約翰去接她。約翰弄清楚地址以後，就要我一起去接他女兒，雪已經下得很大了，他女兒落腳的地方是一幢小房子，屋主是個年青的男孩，一臉年青人的稚氣表情。
他女兒告訴我們，她車子壞了以後，就去呼救，沒有想到家家戶戶都裝了爸爸公司設計的安全系統，使她完全無法可施。總算有一家門口有一個電話，可是屋主坦白地告訴她，屋主本人是一個弱女子，在等她丈夫回來，不敢放她進去，因為她不知道會不會受騙。
她女兒說當她被拒的時候，她相信家家戶戶都在放聖誕音樂，平安夜，聖善夜，聖誕節應該是充滿了愛與關懷的日子，可是她卻被大家拒於千里之外，虧得她最後找到了這一座又破又舊的小房子，她知道這座小房子是不會用安全系統的，果然也找到了這位和氣而友善的屋主。
這位年輕的男孩子一面給我熱茶喝，一面發表他一個奇特的看法，他說家家戶戶都裝了安全系統，耶穌會到那裡去降生呢？可憐的聖母瑪利亞，可能連馬槽都找不到。約翰聽了這些話，當然很不是滋味，可是他一再謝謝這位好心的年青人，也邀他一起去吃晚飯，年青人一聽到有人請他吃晚飯，立刻答應了，我想起我年青的時候，也是如此，從未拒絕過任何一頓晚飯的邀約。
晚餐在一張長桌上吃的，夫妻兩人分坐長桌的兩端，一位臉上沒有表情穿制服的僕人來回送菜，每一道菜都是精點，每一種餐具更是講究無比，可是我想起當年我們在約翰家廚房吃晚飯情形，我覺得當年的飯好吃多了。
約翰的女兒顯得有點不自然，那位年青人卻是最快樂的人，有多少吃多少，一副不吃白不吃的表情，吃完飯，已經十點了，約翰的女兒將年青人送走了。我卻有一個疑問，那些可愛的瓷娃娃到那裡去了？我不敢問，因為答案一定是很尷尬的。
第二天約翰送我到機場，他似乎稍微沉默了一點，下了汽車，他碰到另一部汽車，立刻警鈴大作，這又是他的傑作，自作自受地，我假裝沒有聽到，可是我看到他一臉不自然的表情。
他也無法送我去候機室，安全系統規定送客者早就該留步了。
一年以後，我忽然在《華爾街日報》上看到一則消息，約翰將他的公司賣掉了，他一夜間得到了四億多美金，他的豪華住宅賣了五百萬美金，約翰在記者會上宣布，他留下一個零頭，用四億多美金成立一個慈善基金會，基金會的董事們全是社會上有頭有臉的人，他不是董事，他也不會過問這個基金會如何行善，他完全信任這些董事們。幾天以後，約翰夫婦不見了，他的親人替他們保密，他的女兒已和那位年青人結了婚，到非洲去幫助窮人了，這位科技名人就此失蹤了。
可是我有把握約翰會找我的，因為我們的友誼比較特別，果真我收到他的信了，他告訴我他現在住在英國一個偏遠的鄉下，這裡沒有一家人用安全系統，他給我他的電話和地址，可是他故意不給我他的門牌號碼，他叫我去找他們夫婦二人，而且他說我一定會找到他家的。
我找了一個機會去英國開會，也和約翰約好了去看他的時間，下了火車，我找到了那條街，那條街的一邊面對一大片山谷，沒有一幢房子，所以我只要看街的另一邊就可以了。
我在街上閒逛，忽然看到一幢房子的落地大玻璃窗與眾不同，因為這個窗臺上放滿了瓷娃娃，好可愛的瓷娃娃，我想這一定是一家舊貨店，我想起約翰夫婦喜歡瓷娃娃，決定進去買一個送他們，沒有想到當我抬起頭來的時候，我看到約翰在裡面，這不是舊貨店，這是他們的家，只是他們的家完全對外開放，又放滿了瓷娃娃，才使我誤解了。
約翰夫婦熱情地招待我，他們的家比以前的豪宅小太多了，據他們說，這座小房子比他們當年佣人住的房子還小，也比他們當年的花房小，我記起他們家在冬天也有如此多的花，原來是有花房的緣故。
他們的明朝青花瓷器完全不見了，約翰夫婦將那些瓷器捐給了紐約的一家博物館，他們夫婦二人認為人類文明的結晶，應該由人類全體所共享。
他們的園子也小得很，可是約翰夫婦仍然在園子裡種了花草，他們的後園對著一大片森林，約翰說據說當年羅賓漢就出沒在這一片森林裡，而他們所面對的山谷由英國詩人協會所擁有，他們不會開發這片荒原的，英國人喜歡荒原，約翰夫婦也養成了在荒原中散步的習慣。
約翰告訴我為什麼他最後決定放棄一切。他的公司得到了一個大合同，改善整個加州監獄的安全系統，他發現了加州花在監獄上的錢比花在教育上的還多，而他呢？他越來越有錢，卻越來越像住在一座監獄裡面。美國人一向標榜「自由而且開放社會」，其實美國人卻越來越將自己封閉起來，越來越使自己失去自由。約翰決心不再拼命賺錢，只為了找回失去了好久的自由。
約翰夫婦在附近的一家高中教書，這所學校其時有點像專科學校，約翰教線路設計，學生所設計出來的線路經常得獎，他捐了很多錢給這所學校，使這所學校有很好的圖書館和實驗室，他太太在那裡教英文。
約翰告訴我他們兩人的薪水就足足應付他們的生活了，因為他們生活得很簡單，平時騎自行車上班，連汽油都用得很少。
當我們坐下來吃晚飯的時候，我才發現我的那座女孩子瓷娃娃放在桌子中間，他們當時念舊，捨不得丟掉那些瓷娃娃，可是替他們設計內部裝潢的設計師不讓他擺設這些不值錢的東西，現在那些值錢的東西都不見了，不值錢的瓷娃娃又出現了。我總算吃到了我當年常吃到的晚飯，也重新享受到約翰夫婦家中的溫暖。
我離開的時候，約翰送我去火車站，他告訴我他還有一些錢，他的女兒不會要他的這些錢，等他和太太都去世了，他的錢就全部捐出去了。
我說我好佩服他，因為他已經捐出他的全部所有，他忽然一笑，告訴我他仍然有一樣寶物，沒有捐掉。我對此大為好奇，問他是什麼，他說他要賣一個關子，他用一張小紙寫了下來，交給我，但叫我現在不要看，等火車開了以後再看，上面寫的是他不會捐出去的寶物。
火車開了，我和站在月台上的約翰揮手再見，等我看不見他以後，打開了那張紙，紙上寫的是「我的靈魂」。
我坐在火車裡，不禁一直想著，有些人什麼都有，卻失落了自己的靈魂。
Saturday, May 12, 2007
News for the Penguin!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6647485.stm
Don't stray too far from home. :P
Don't stray too far from home. :P
Friday, May 11, 2007
What I liked in EuroVision
(Jews ARE amazingly funny)
(American culture spreads... and so does money worship... this clips is really hilarious to me)
(Grrr... the Finns... and who said they had not passion and humor?... the fans... that just killed me... the whole lordi thing is... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....)
(Finals 2007)
(Hot guy)
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Just for laughs
Laugh away, people!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/chinese/trad/hi/newsid_6050000/newsid_6053100/6053128.stm
http://www.web4share.com/viewthread.php?tid=141547
http://news.bbc.co.uk/chinese/trad/hi/newsid_6050000/newsid_6053100/6053128.stm
http://www.web4share.com/viewthread.php?tid=141547
JEALOUSY WILL DRIVE YOU MAD!!!
Moulin Rouge, quite a piece too look at if you have the time, and lack the brains, and enjoys some excitement, go for it.
Browsed a friend's board, and saw a good piece of crap about apologies for jealousy. Well, it's one of the most interesting crap I've seen so far, which started me on this piece of shit I'm writing just here.
Jealousy.
Who has never been jealous, raise your hands! I'm guessing no one, and if you do, here's my contact: mrssydney@hotmail.com. I've got a price for you.
Now, what is all this about jealousy. It's something I never quite understand (and quoting from many, I rarely have, and if I do, then... I am not sure if it is jealousy in the first place, and since someone once told me that if you question something, then it is not really what it is, then maybe it isn't jealousy... getting too carried away here) to be a necessity, yet, unwantingly also had the fortune of experiencing it here and there (with a total of probably not more than 10 times my life). Unnecessary in the fact that we have no power over the other person's interest, do we? We cannot control who she/he looks at, who she/he thinks about, who she/he fancies. We can merely control ourselves and expose an extra boob (hence, those with three boobs are for the advantage).
A friend apologizes to his girlfriend who just threw a frenzy at him for being jealous of an unimportant matter (of both cases I have no insights in). A girl slaps her boyfriend in the face with jealousy as she finds him in bed with another woman (of a case when you can't say who the woman is, and what they were doing). A father murders a mother in jealousy just... well, just cause he was jealous (who the hell knows why?).
I suppose none of these would have happened if jealousy was never the cause in the first place. No one kills no one, we all live in peace.
Sometimes I wonder if Bush attacked Iraq because of jealousy. Jealous of Iraq's love affair with oil, which the Bush family had for years been courting. Like all jealous husbands, Bush beheads Iraq.
I wonder what good had jealousy done us so far than bad? What better it had done than worse? What meaning is behind all this? Is it biological?
Being not the jealous type, sincerely, I never quite get it. If someone can put right into my head and straighten this chaos out, perhaps... just perhaps... I'll find this head and tail in the madness of it all!
Browsed a friend's board, and saw a good piece of crap about apologies for jealousy. Well, it's one of the most interesting crap I've seen so far, which started me on this piece of shit I'm writing just here.
Jealousy.
Who has never been jealous, raise your hands! I'm guessing no one, and if you do, here's my contact: mrssydney@hotmail.com. I've got a price for you.
Now, what is all this about jealousy. It's something I never quite understand (and quoting from many, I rarely have, and if I do, then... I am not sure if it is jealousy in the first place, and since someone once told me that if you question something, then it is not really what it is, then maybe it isn't jealousy... getting too carried away here) to be a necessity, yet, unwantingly also had the fortune of experiencing it here and there (with a total of probably not more than 10 times my life). Unnecessary in the fact that we have no power over the other person's interest, do we? We cannot control who she/he looks at, who she/he thinks about, who she/he fancies. We can merely control ourselves and expose an extra boob (hence, those with three boobs are for the advantage).
A friend apologizes to his girlfriend who just threw a frenzy at him for being jealous of an unimportant matter (of both cases I have no insights in). A girl slaps her boyfriend in the face with jealousy as she finds him in bed with another woman (of a case when you can't say who the woman is, and what they were doing). A father murders a mother in jealousy just... well, just cause he was jealous (who the hell knows why?).
I suppose none of these would have happened if jealousy was never the cause in the first place. No one kills no one, we all live in peace.
Sometimes I wonder if Bush attacked Iraq because of jealousy. Jealous of Iraq's love affair with oil, which the Bush family had for years been courting. Like all jealous husbands, Bush beheads Iraq.
I wonder what good had jealousy done us so far than bad? What better it had done than worse? What meaning is behind all this? Is it biological?
Being not the jealous type, sincerely, I never quite get it. If someone can put right into my head and straighten this chaos out, perhaps... just perhaps... I'll find this head and tail in the madness of it all!
Typical housewife
Just finished off a morning of a typical housewife day. Some reading, some cleaning, a lot of laundry. Now proceeding to the face mask position. Feeling like a 30 years old.
Career, what a tricky little thing. It seems like all us humanitarians always end up questioning ourselves with, what are we going to do with the rest of our lives staying in the humanitarian world? I remember the days, not that I was there, when it was noble and proper to study art, literature and history, etc. Nowadays, it is business, or... business. Seems like my little brain never managed to out grow 16th century (well, maybe it never gotten further than Arthur's age).
Anyways, this little housewife has decided, that with her all time and her lack of organization, she better of find something more organized to do instead of brood over how, well, she is incapable of basical survival. Her childhood fantasy of greatness, well again, that must come from fulfilling certain present insignificant demands of, well again and again, insignificant accomplishments, such as a letter properly delivered, a book properly written. Greatness comes from the accomplishment of many small things, added together.
Do you see the bigger picture? DO YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?
Generalizing everything on my brain, some researches to be done, and all should be well on the road by the end of the summer of 2007. Someone once told me that when I turn 24, the "mothership" (thank you Dupree) will call for me.
Maybe then I'll know where I came from... suddenly discover that I wasn't from Mars (yikes!), but some weird planet out near the Alpha Centuri or something (okay, wonder if that's ever even possible). Or maybe that new planet they found (wicked, so that's why time passes by so oddly for me, my concept of a day is different from most here! And my concept of a year, even shorter).
Do you see the bigger picture? DO YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?
Someone should tell me to stop reading Miller, I suddenly feel like the salesman, screaming in my own ears.
Career, what a tricky little thing. It seems like all us humanitarians always end up questioning ourselves with, what are we going to do with the rest of our lives staying in the humanitarian world? I remember the days, not that I was there, when it was noble and proper to study art, literature and history, etc. Nowadays, it is business, or... business. Seems like my little brain never managed to out grow 16th century (well, maybe it never gotten further than Arthur's age).
Anyways, this little housewife has decided, that with her all time and her lack of organization, she better of find something more organized to do instead of brood over how, well, she is incapable of basical survival. Her childhood fantasy of greatness, well again, that must come from fulfilling certain present insignificant demands of, well again and again, insignificant accomplishments, such as a letter properly delivered, a book properly written. Greatness comes from the accomplishment of many small things, added together.
Do you see the bigger picture? DO YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?
Generalizing everything on my brain, some researches to be done, and all should be well on the road by the end of the summer of 2007. Someone once told me that when I turn 24, the "mothership" (thank you Dupree) will call for me.
Maybe then I'll know where I came from... suddenly discover that I wasn't from Mars (yikes!), but some weird planet out near the Alpha Centuri or something (okay, wonder if that's ever even possible). Or maybe that new planet they found (wicked, so that's why time passes by so oddly for me, my concept of a day is different from most here! And my concept of a year, even shorter).
Do you see the bigger picture? DO YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?
Someone should tell me to stop reading Miller, I suddenly feel like the salesman, screaming in my own ears.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Admit a reality
Depend on yourself to get what you want in life, and no one else. Take that into your mind and you'll never loose...
Cheers!
Cheers!
Monday, May 07, 2007
Way Back into Love
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
--
Let's find our way back into love. Hand in hand. Come what may, my dear.
All these passing, these are the difficulties and the challenges.
The goal is clear, to be, together. Whatever the way. Whatever the way.
Funny now it is
Funny how it is. You can be patient, loving and supportive of someone when their world is falling a part. Yet, when your world is falling a part, you need to find your way back on your own... Because no one can seem to understand the situation. No one can see the bottom of the low.
--
Flying a pink cigarette. Maybe that is destiny and fate.
--
Flying a pink cigarette. Maybe that is destiny and fate.
Distance
Distance
Not only in reality
But also in the mind
--
Don't know how to share the excitement of my life.
It's my own world only because you refused the invitation into it.
It is shared so that you may be included within this world.
Change of plans, made with one goal, to get closer to you.
You asked me before as well, for the same thing.
Then I share with you my desire for it, and you leave me in the cold.
If you do not want it, don't ask for it in the first place.
Don't ask for me to tell you what is on my mind or life if you don't want to listen to it.
--
This is a distance more unbearable than any other.
Not knowing what is going on.
Blocked out in the cold.
Not only in reality
But also in the mind
--
Don't know how to share the excitement of my life.
It's my own world only because you refused the invitation into it.
It is shared so that you may be included within this world.
Change of plans, made with one goal, to get closer to you.
You asked me before as well, for the same thing.
Then I share with you my desire for it, and you leave me in the cold.
If you do not want it, don't ask for it in the first place.
Don't ask for me to tell you what is on my mind or life if you don't want to listen to it.
--
This is a distance more unbearable than any other.
Not knowing what is going on.
Blocked out in the cold.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Batman's Music
Batman's music had always, been better than the film (in my opinion, at least)... ><
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moloko
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkarna
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moloko
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkarna
A Fine Frenzy
http://www.myspace.com/afinefrenzy
Honey, would like your serious opinion.
---
Still waiting for a "Lost Note" CD.
Honey, would like your serious opinion.
---
Still waiting for a "Lost Note" CD.
A written form
You ever wonder why people write all these unimportant shit that practically no one (I did say practically no one) ever cares enough to read, and even if they care enough to read they never care enough to care about what they cared enough to read.
If you go to a bookstore (try picturing the Stockman Bookstore in Helsinki... nice three floor bookstore, tells u how much people in that little forgotten ((not by me, but by the world)) city enjoys reading... I have reasons to believe the bookstore is nearly the size of the department store), and just check out the numbers of unimportant crap starting from the top of the A row, straight to the end of the Z row in some weird section, of some word we can't pronounce... (I should double check that), you start wondeirng about the mental state of the world. As if... for some forgotten reason (my memories are failing me greatly these days), shit and crap have officially became "knowledge"" and knowledge of officially became a myth, I quite wonder at the proximity I am willing to attend to in this crazy "pound through this shit we call life". I'm not pounding it, I'm actually pursuing it.
I wonder why people all write these unimportrant shit that practically no one (and I really mean practically) ever cares enough to read, and even if they cared enough to read, they never cared enough to care about what they cared enough to read because by now everyone knows all these written forms they are reading are just piece of shit people are pursuing after, which are formed from the pieces of crap they are pursuing after (following me?).
I do.
Cuz, even as I write these pieces of shit and wonder with marvel at the amount of shit I can produce daily from the pieces of craps I digest morning to night, and then discover myself sleeping late at night, getting sick and old because of too much consumptino of crap and shit, and then finding myself depressed because of this intoxicating consumption, somehow I am ceased with the weird notion/idea/prophecy/for God's sakes, whatever God may say, that my whole life must be dedicated to the continuous production (and i do mean continuous) of crap and shit.
Funny how when I was little a elderly lady (always an elderly lady in these fairy tales) told me in her little cottage somewhere within the elementary courtyard (cottage in courtyards... I told you they were crap and shit) that I was, defying all possibilities (with me sucking my thumbs), to be a mover/rocker (not literal) of the world. That, the rest of the world, they keep the world moving, but the few like me, people filled with so much crap and shit that they can live three to four life-times with it... we were the ones to change the world!
Maybe that's it. My mission in life is to provide the people who keeps the world moving with enough crap and shit so that they never are in need of it, and are satisfied enough to continue there moving and hence makes me, in some weird logic, a mover of the world.
Well, it's good we got that straight.
If you go to a bookstore (try picturing the Stockman Bookstore in Helsinki... nice three floor bookstore, tells u how much people in that little forgotten ((not by me, but by the world)) city enjoys reading... I have reasons to believe the bookstore is nearly the size of the department store), and just check out the numbers of unimportant crap starting from the top of the A row, straight to the end of the Z row in some weird section, of some word we can't pronounce... (I should double check that), you start wondeirng about the mental state of the world. As if... for some forgotten reason (my memories are failing me greatly these days), shit and crap have officially became "knowledge"" and knowledge of officially became a myth, I quite wonder at the proximity I am willing to attend to in this crazy "pound through this shit we call life". I'm not pounding it, I'm actually pursuing it.
I wonder why people all write these unimportrant shit that practically no one (and I really mean practically) ever cares enough to read, and even if they cared enough to read, they never cared enough to care about what they cared enough to read because by now everyone knows all these written forms they are reading are just piece of shit people are pursuing after, which are formed from the pieces of crap they are pursuing after (following me?).
I do.
Cuz, even as I write these pieces of shit and wonder with marvel at the amount of shit I can produce daily from the pieces of craps I digest morning to night, and then discover myself sleeping late at night, getting sick and old because of too much consumptino of crap and shit, and then finding myself depressed because of this intoxicating consumption, somehow I am ceased with the weird notion/idea/prophecy/for God's sakes, whatever God may say, that my whole life must be dedicated to the continuous production (and i do mean continuous) of crap and shit.
Funny how when I was little a elderly lady (always an elderly lady in these fairy tales) told me in her little cottage somewhere within the elementary courtyard (cottage in courtyards... I told you they were crap and shit) that I was, defying all possibilities (with me sucking my thumbs), to be a mover/rocker (not literal) of the world. That, the rest of the world, they keep the world moving, but the few like me, people filled with so much crap and shit that they can live three to four life-times with it... we were the ones to change the world!
Maybe that's it. My mission in life is to provide the people who keeps the world moving with enough crap and shit so that they never are in need of it, and are satisfied enough to continue there moving and hence makes me, in some weird logic, a mover of the world.
Well, it's good we got that straight.
Choice
Choose between the world and me. The world and you. The world and us. The world and... the world.
Choose between, saving the world and me. Saving the world and you. Saving the world and us. Saving the world... and the world.
Choose between, dying for the world and me. Dying for the world and you. Dying for the world and us. Dying for the world... and the world.
My right eye just jumped. Okay, so it's a bad idea anyways.
Forget the choice. Forget the above weird series of line. Forget what I just said.
It's just the world, the world of the world, the world of the world of the world...
and our insignificant... self.
Choose between, saving the world and me. Saving the world and you. Saving the world and us. Saving the world... and the world.
Choose between, dying for the world and me. Dying for the world and you. Dying for the world and us. Dying for the world... and the world.
My right eye just jumped. Okay, so it's a bad idea anyways.
Forget the choice. Forget the above weird series of line. Forget what I just said.
It's just the world, the world of the world, the world of the world of the world...
and our insignificant... self.
Knuckle, harmed
Knuckle harmed. Damnation <-- not really that bad.
Attempt to plan life again (not very smoothly, for I am no longer as daring).
Mother says, "Naomi, brave girl."
Naomi says, "I'm the only one degrading myself."
Father says, "I believe in you."
Naomi feels, "All the pressure of believe."
People ask, "What should we believe?"
Naomi thinks, "Liberty."
Padme says, "And so, that's how liberty dies. With thoundering applause." (My own defense for SWI, II, III is that, if you look careful enough, Lucas has a lot of good to say about the better of the world. Even more bad to say about the worse of the world.)
Naomi think, "I need a counsellor, I think I am going crazy."
Mom says, "You think too much."
Dad says, "You think too much."
People say, "You think too much."
The voice inside Naomi says, "Hey, what the fuck. I'm Back."
Attempt to plan life again (not very smoothly, for I am no longer as daring).
Mother says, "Naomi, brave girl."
Naomi says, "I'm the only one degrading myself."
Father says, "I believe in you."
Naomi feels, "All the pressure of believe."
People ask, "What should we believe?"
Naomi thinks, "Liberty."
Padme says, "And so, that's how liberty dies. With thoundering applause." (My own defense for SWI, II, III is that, if you look careful enough, Lucas has a lot of good to say about the better of the world. Even more bad to say about the worse of the world.)
Naomi think, "I need a counsellor, I think I am going crazy."
Mom says, "You think too much."
Dad says, "You think too much."
People say, "You think too much."
The voice inside Naomi says, "Hey, what the fuck. I'm Back."
Numb
tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
don't know what you expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
is falling apart right in front of you.
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow],
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the just caught in the undertow]
and every second I was,te is more than I can take.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
[tired of being what you want me to be]
(repeat x 2)
(Lyric/Song by Linkin Park)
---
A generally easily comprehended piece by all the fella nubies of the society (us kids).
Funny now after years of screaming this "numbness", the parents generation just never get it (a.k.a. neither will us in the future)
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
don't know what you expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
is falling apart right in front of you.
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow],
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the just caught in the undertow]
and every second I was,te is more than I can take.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
[tired of being what you want me to be]
(repeat x 2)
(Lyric/Song by Linkin Park)
---
A generally easily comprehended piece by all the fella nubies of the society (us kids).
Funny now after years of screaming this "numbness", the parents generation just never get it (a.k.a. neither will us in the future)
Shame Culture
Read the article, starting from the paragraph "First,..."
Acknowledge that
1. I need to stop thinking of myself in such a inferior and demeaned form. Seriously, the lower I think of myself, the harder it will be for me to be nice and friendly (duh).
2. Confidence=esteem=friendliness
3. Smile...... ><
Sad... quite sad...
Acknowledge that
1. I need to stop thinking of myself in such a inferior and demeaned form. Seriously, the lower I think of myself, the harder it will be for me to be nice and friendly (duh).
2. Confidence=esteem=friendliness
3. Smile...... ><
Sad... quite sad...
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
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