Edening Contemporary

BLOG MOVE

2007-08-02T10:19:00.000+08:00

Okay, for those of you who tends to read this blog without making any comments (the majority of the public). Due to the fact that Ms. Afeline wants to start being more... hum... publicized about her writings, she's decided to move the whole blog (all of her blogs, as a matter of fact) to wordpress.com.

http://eveafeline.wordpress.com

Please be welcomes to continue your interests there. :)

From here on, a new journey begins, and a new style introduced, in hope of making everything more interesting to her and to you. :)

Today's Bookmarks

2007-07-31T15:24:00.000+08:00

Introducing! Today's Bookmarks!

After spending on average of about 6 hours or more a day online, it's quite a collection the amounts of websites you can see per day. You ever wonder about the amazingly scary amount of websites out there?! My GOD! It sounds deathly.

http://www.happyslip.com/
Happy Slip Production!
This is one hell of an amazing phenomanon. A one person show developing into a online craze! One of top 10 on YouTube, and one hell of a funny girl. :)

http://www.ravshmuel.com/
Rav Shmuel!
Prolly his Protocol is the one everybody knows. I loved it, so did most of the people who sent it to me. The brilliance of the Jewish people once again shined in ours eyes... well... just brilliant! (*sob* with touch)

http://www.slyart.com.tw/
Sly Art in Taipei!
Well, I know where I am going this weekend! :) (What a Sunday this is gonna be!) I'm excited already! :)

http://www.youngvoice.com.tw/2007my24hrs/default_E.htm
My 24 Hours!
I love this stuff! Definitely need to go see it! What happens when you put a video camera in a child's hand?! He he he... a wick of a world!

http://www.jamendo.com/en/
Jamendo
The creator of this site is in Taipei this weekend! For Wikimania! (Okay, definitely getting myself hooked with Creative Commons asap)... I can see where the next musical addiction is coming from... :)

http://blog.yam.com/ccgarden/
ccGarden!
All Hail ccTaiwan's Mr. Chuang... :P Although I am way over-due with my email to him, but I'm offering myself as a hand in help for any future events! That, and I'm going up north for sure this weekend to get to know what Creative Commons is about more... :)

http://www.openbusiness.cc/
Open Business!
This is kinda like a really cool website/project aimed at sharing of business plans (I wonder what the participants of GlobalTiC will think of this... @@) Still need to look into it more, but anyways, will get updated on it asap. :)

More to come from today's events! (as we slowly move this blog from private to public~)

Adaptation

2007-07-31T11:27:00.000+08:00

Crowds. I cannot hear.

This is a progressing problem as years go by. It's pressing, it's painful, and it's on-going.

I remember the time when people cannot really tell if I can hear or not... And now, they can, and they don't understand.

There's a lot of people like me in this world, and each of us must learn to adapt.

I see the similar patterns, the distance from the crowd, the individuality, the quiet self.

There is so much to see, if you look carefully everyday, you will be surprised at how the world is.

Adaptation. That's the que. Every creature in this world must learn to adapt. The only question is what direction is the best?

From here, which direction do we go to adapt?

Why do I bring up people who cannot hear right? Not that I pity myself nor ask for pity, but that this is a strong process of adaptation. You see, for people who cannot hear entirely, people excuse them. For people who cannot hear partially but are old, people can understand them. For people who are partially impaired but young, most do not notice them. So, we must learn to adapt. Not because we are afraid of how people see us, but because we must not look down on ourselves (which, in my case, happens sometimes)...

(I don't know if this makes sense at all... I feel like Beethoven, you know... :P He created magic when he could hear, and miracles when he could not.)

What is this?!

2007-07-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

Reminds me of Jack's song from Nightmare Before Christmas.
But, what is this?!

The whole world went nuts, all of a sudden, and here in front of me is a web of thoughts, a continueous thought...

They say that once you start a ripple, it only gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Here I am, staring at a very very very big ripple. Sort of just folds around itself, the circles, you know.

When ideas strike a building point, somehow they just keep growing. Then you need to fill in with more concrete information and facts, you need to get more into the system, more to pump.

The world is so big it engulfs us too easy. *Sigh*

You remind me of him

2007-07-30T23:12:00.001+08:00

You remind me of him. The same smile. The same looks. The same shyness in the eyes. The same wanting, but never to take. The same caution. The same fear. The same consideration. The same words. Words that are so cautious, it's hard to tell if they are real.

He said, he wanted me to always live near him, always and always. He wanted me to never marry, but always be his. He wanted a lot of things, but he never gave. Until, it was too late for him to give, then he regreted. And then, he disappeared. And then, he appeared again. However, still, he was the same. The same wishing that I am always his, even though he has others with him.

You remind me of him, the same joke, the same quietness, the same non-sense, and the same care flowing in your eyes. Yet, this time, I am more cautious than before. I don't know what I should believe, perhaps nothing, perhaps everything. However, I still feel connected, to you, somehow. Like quiet water flows, like little streams, too light to make a ripple, but too sure to be not there.

I'll put you in a little box and put it in my heart. Now I am more careful about feelings, more careful than before ever was.

You see, there was a man I had loved, loved with my whole heart. And this man, I just gave up. Because I could not love him anymore. Because I could not feel him anymore. Because the distance was too far, in life and in the heart. More than anything, because we're going separate ways, him and I, so different is our lives, so different our directions, so different our future. I do miss him, and I still miss him, but this, I know, was the right thing to do.

It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Actually, it hurts quite a lot, but I know now how to control myself. You see, one should definitely be more careful of their feelings and their heart. You are cautious, you know. You are also diplomatic. That's an admirable trait.

Smoking and Relationships

2007-07-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

Once long long ago I made this "vow". I've vowed very few times in my life. Once not to marry before I am 29... the rest I don't recall... except...

This vow... If I smoke, then I will not have good relationships.

So.... if I stop smoking now, will it get better?!

Gosh... there REALLY IS someone out there, isn't there?!

It was the right thing

2007-07-29T16:29:00.001+08:00

Deep inside, I know it is the right thing to do, but then, why do I still feel so bad about it?!

Maybe it should have been done a long time ago. Maybe that's why it feels so bad.

Sometimes I just don't understand myself.

The air is suffocating today, very... I'm tired, very... but tired of what?!

Missing you

2007-07-29T15:43:00.000+08:00

I do miss you. This, I admit. I miss you very dearly. If the distance was not a problem, it would have worked. I was very serious about my feeling for you, indeed, that is true. No matter how little time we spent with each other, the feelings were very true. It would have been much better if we had spent more time face to face getting to know each other, more time in each other's arms, more time feeling each other's existance, the reality of it all. More time for me to get to know you and for you to get to know me.

I wish you can understand how I wish we can be friends. Not just regular friends, but very close and very good friends. Good friends are so hard to find these days. This is probably for the best. I do not wish to loose someone as you.

I don't know if you will read this, nor if you will understand or take in anything said here. I don't know how you will feel about any of this. I don't know anything much, to be honest.

It's stupid how it is. I always manage to get a good deal of my work life in order, get my personal accomplishments up. Yet, when it comes to relationships, it's always such a wreck and such a mess. Prolly it's better this way. No one can be perfect.

Be nice to me, please

2007-07-29T14:11:00.000+08:00

Be nice to me, please.
I've been as nice as can be.
Why is it never enough, no matter what I am.
Never enough to be niced to.

--

Hate this feeling. feels like being a coward...

The happening

2007-07-29T10:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, the happening just happens.
Willing to believe, but knowing the distance of truth from the reality.
Truth from dreams.

Bottle it up, put it all inside. There is no point in exploring this anymore.

A past, far in the past.
Let go, let grow, let expand, let become, let....

The heart be released from the endless pain.

The truth is always for the best

2007-07-28T23:06:00.001+08:00

The truth is always for the best...

What we were up to

2007-07-28T22:43:00.001+08:00

http://ap.ntdtv.com/News/Item/?id=200707260006

Someone said my blog is interesting

2007-07-22T12:29:00.001+08:00

Someone said my blog is interesting, so... I read it again... and questioned myself on the interesting parts of it... and decided that... like I've said before...

It's just crap written with a shitload of blank nothingless from a rather fucked up mind that ponders endlessly in pointless crappy things.

All hail crappy writing! And all hail fucked up mind! And all hail shitloads of blank nothingless.

--

Am I cynical? Tell me I am cynical...

I'm cynical...

People

2007-07-22T12:28:00.000+08:00

Spend far too much time wondering about people instead of actually doing something worth-while... It's the work that matters... focus focus focus...

Tempting moments

2007-07-22T10:07:00.001+08:00

Tempting moments bring tempting flows
of tempting things yet unknown nor note
Tempting as it is this tempting thought
Tempted to realize but what speaks the at-tempt

Just another fleeting tempting moment in a tempting day
of a tempting future so temptingly played
and the tempting self so tempting displayed
the mind and soul of tempting may

Long forgotten hours

2007-07-21T20:14:00.001+08:00

The long forgotten hours said to me today,
"Long forgotten as I am, here I stand again."
As I wonder at the queer shape of it,
"Oh, how you've grown!"
And yet never quite out of its measurements, not just yet.
The long forgotten hours stood and stared
And opened its mouth, the dripping white water
Steaming as it does, flowing
Surrounded me, and then, quite happily
It ate me up and finished me
Rumbling with me inside its acid sack
The long forgotten hours said to me
"Long forgotten as I am, here I stand again."
And into the abyss of it I fell, somehow willingly
And into the acid I dived, somehow wantingly
And into the long forgotten hours I swam
The overwhelming sensation of me and me and me and me...

And then the memories flew
I wake and stared into
Just another page of scribbling words
And
You

Will miss you

2007-07-21T20:11:00.001+08:00

Will miss you when the moment arrives
When the birds must fly
When the sun must set

Will miss you when the moment arrives
Words unsaid
You still not know what's there yet

Will miss you in the quiet wanting
Silence engulfing, eating

And this sentiment, this I hate
For this is what makes me woman, what makes me nothing like I desire yet
Not of the cold robotic child
Not of the career driven self

But that sentimental woman who will cry
In the dead of the night, o night.

But that sentimental woman who will cry
In the moments least want, o want.

Dreams

2007-07-20T20:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes... it's okay to dream...

You dream, then you find a way to make it happen... these dreams...

If you never even start, then you are stuck right there... and totally lost

It doesn't matter if you fail, because... if you don't even move forward, you are just... lost...

I miss

2007-07-20T01:10:00.000+08:00

I miss Adam, Eve, Akia, HE, Sindsay, Vincent, Bronx, Monkey, Butterfly, Tamer, Hunter, "Dad", Deli, Connor...

Soulmates...

--

Also miss Tai...

Have you ever been honest to yourself?

2007-07-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

No. Maybe. A little.

--

I want to win. And it's so hard when you see failure so near. Yet, I want to win. I always want to win. I want to bath in glory. Who doesn't?!

I can see the same frustration in Alfredo's face.

He wants to win. He wants to always win. Yet, sometimes, things aren't always as we expect.

--

I very rarely loose, actually... When I see that I will fail, I normally just escape. Yet, that isn't right either, cuz then it's just false winning in the end. I'm not afraid of taking risks, but I am afraid of loosing...

--

Am I incompetent?! No, I don't think so. If I am, well, then I probably wouldn't have done what I have accomplished so far. Written a business plan, and a second one forming (in secret) on an industry I haven't a single clue about: Internet Service. Hei, how many literature majors attempt this and at the same year worked as international sales secretary, English secretary for a trademark company, direct salesperson for a cosmetic company, and am now going after a possible law degree (not possible, but definite).

What a very eventful year.

If I record all the things I did this year, it's quite a story, isn't it?

--

修身，齊家，治國，平天下

一個人做一件事情，不可以跳過任何一個步驟。不然，不過是一個空殼子，華而不實。

應該多看點書了，好想好想讀書。

Always getting carried away...

2007-07-16T18:12:00.000+08:00

Bang

Hateful feelings

2007-07-16T15:07:00.000+08:00

Decided to use old material and improvise to improve. The new materials still needs a lot more modification (Will finish after the first deadlin)... Although the new material is probably grander and much more interesting and well developed, it simply requires far too much information which I am inable to provide at the moment.

Old material is good after condensation, added with new marketing methods, it should provide a certain degree of competitiveness, although I strongly doubt its ability to actually combat large corporations. Feeling quite aweful at the state of things, and doubtful of myself and my abilities.

Big note... Never, ever, not matter what... attempt to get into a field which you do not specialize in. That... is definitely a grand of a mistake...

There are times you wonder

2007-07-15T23:02:00.001+08:00

There are times you wonder, what is this all about?

What is this all worth? Is it worth anything at all?

Then you know, it's worth it, because you wondered...

So you strife on, even if you feel lack of something at this precise moment...

Motivation will come... dream big, act big, make big...

--

Tired of watching the world this way
Tired of hearing complains
Find a way out of this suffocation
Find a place to belong
Find a me, inside the depth of it all... fulfill your own destiny...

Last year this time...

2007-07-14T18:22:00.001+08:00

Last year this time I was leaving you. This year this time I'm just missing you. Next year this time where will I be?

Life likes to play us games. Too many, too complicating.

思念是一種病
Missing is a kind of Illness
作詞：齊秦/張震嶽　作曲：齊秦/張震嶽　女聲：蔡健雅

當你在穿山越領的另一邊　我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
When you are on the other side of the mountains I am on an endless road of loneliness
一輩子有多少的來不及
How many "not in times" do we have in life?
發現　已經　失去　最重要的東西
Discovering that we've already lost the most important thing
恍然大悟　早已遠去
Suddenly realizing that it is gone
為何總是在犯錯之後
Why is always after we've done wrong
才肯相信　錯的是自己
That we'd admit it is us who was wrong?
他們說這就是人生　試著體會
They say this is life, you should try to understand
試著忍住眼淚　還是躲不開應該有的情緒
Try to keep behind the tears, but still cannot escape the emotions
我不會奢求世界停止轉動
I don't wish for the world to stop moving
我知道逃避一點都沒有用
I know running away is no good
只是這段時間裡　尤其在夜裡
Just that these days in the nights
還是會想起　難忘的事情
I still remember what I cannot forget
我想我的思念是一種病
I think my missing is a kind of illness
久久不能痊癒
And it will never heal

--

I want to stop thinking about this, and just live. But I know I'll never stop thinking about it, and I know that even if I am cold and harsh, I know that I'm just trying to hide it all away.

--

Last year this time I was leaving you. This year this time I just miss you. Next year this time... what will happen then?!

I wish to be a robot...

2007-07-14T00:11:00.000+08:00

I wish to be a robot, then I wouldn't feel anything.

A msn contact has, "Life is not a struggle, it's a joke" as her nickname.

Indeed, it is.

THE BUTTERFLY WINGS!

2007-07-13T09:13:00.001+08:00

Well, so there is actually some evolution going on in this world anyways!

--

Butterfly shows evolution at work
Scientists say they have seen one of the fastest evolutionary changes ever observed in a species of butterfly.
The tropical Blue Moon butterfly has developed a way of fighting back against parasitic bacteria.

Six years ago, males accounted for just 1% of the Blue Moon population on two islands in the South Pacific.

But by last year, the butterflies had developed a gene to keep the bacteria in check and male numbers were up to about 40% of the population.

Scientists believe the comeback is due to "suppressor" genes that control the Wolbachia bacteria that is passed down from the mother and kills the male embryos before they hatch.

"To my knowledge, this is the fastest evolutionary change that has ever been observed," said Sylvain Charlat, of University College London, whose study appears in the journal Science.

Rapid natural selection

Gregory Hurst, a University College researcher who worked with Mr Charlat said: "We usually think of natural selection as acting slowly, over hundreds of thousands of years.

"But the example in this study happened in the blink of the eye, in terms of evolutionary time, and is a remarkable thing to get to observe."

The team first documented the massive imbalance in the sex ratio of the Blue Moon butterfly on the Samoan islands of Savaii and Upolu in 2001.

In 2006 they started a new survey after an increase in reports of male sightings at Upolo.

They found that the numbers of male butterfly had either reached or were approaching those of females.

The researchers are not sure whether the gene that suppressed the parasite emerged from a mutation in the local population or whether it was introduced by migratory Southeast Asian butterflies in which the mutation existed.

But they said that the repopulation of male butterflies illustrates rapid natural selection, a process in which traits that help a species survive become more prominent in a population.

"We're witnessing an evolutionary arms race between the parasite and the host. This strengthens the view that parasites can be major drivers in evolution," Mr Charlat said.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/science/nature/6896753.stm

Published: 2007/07/12 23:18:22 GMT

© BBC MMVII

Bed and Wifi

2007-07-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

Note.... adorable combination...

Bed work seems more productive than I had expected, reason being that it is relaxing, very, instead of the tense sitting up position that we assume almost day to day to night to night...

Okay, the bad is the sometime hard to connected wifi connection, but the good is the flow of inspiration (and then the dreadful feeling that u can never type fast enough to catch your brains...)

Been reading this absolutely gorgeous book (and that evoked me to purchase more books, hence raising the definite need for a paid job)... by Terry Allen, marvelous guy...:P I can really identify with him, and I think I like the way he led his life... Although, it might not have been the most material fulfilling life, nor the most relaxed, but it definitely sounds like the most fun! He started so many businesses, and recked most of them (it's hillarious, really), but got a real kick out of it. What really took me on was the fact that no matter how many times he failed, he just doesn't stop, cuz, it's just fun.

Hence, Q's words... Enjoy life. It's not about speed, nor about what you do... how you do... just Enjoy it! Have fun!

I finally understood the rage

2007-07-12T21:29:00.001+08:00

Listening to Linkin Park's tribute to the 911 event.

I can still remember the moment when I woke up in the morning and saw the news, printed neatly out in front of me. My father carefully printed it and placed it in front of the table. I remember, I was late for school that morning.

I woke my brother up, we opened the TV, we watched CNN. We sat there, just watching. We were even laughing about it, really. My first reaction, "Is this a new movie? That's some really amazing special effect and advertisement method."

I went to school, late. The principle's special announcement, the half down flag, the news... Don't know how to describe it, but, part of my world was broken. I'm not American, but, still, the world wasn't the same then.

What would it be like, if... I WAS American?

Maybe I am, on the inside, half of me is. That was the place where my most precious memories are. It's a magical wonderland (different kind of magic from Finland). I can still remember sitting by the lake, letting the spring wind blow by me with a book in my lap.

That world, included no violence, included no misery, included nature and beauty.

The world now? U can hear the pain in the voice of Bush's speech. All of a sudden, I can see why he hated Iraq so much, why he was so angry. He really did love America. He might not have been the greatest president ever, but he really loved America. Maybe that's the problem, you should never let people who love their country too much rule, because they will always end up making irrational impulsive emotional decisions.

--

Down to the bottom of it, this is what touches me the most, these things in life, these moments... these things that need to be improved...

Social entrepreneurship... hum... sounds like something worth getting into... :)

Super Sonic Speed

2007-07-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

By Die Happy. Sometimes I feel that song can really relate to me, at least the lyric does, the title does.

Today at dancing my teacher told me, "Slow down! Why are you always in a hurry?"
Yesterday at a meeting my friend told me, "Slow down! Why are you always in a hurry?"
Last year at my previous work my boss told me, "Slow down! Why are you always in a hurry?"

"Slow down! Why are you always in a hurry?"

Maybe I can be the Wang in my game, but like Wang, I always forget what the coaches say. (把手提起來！)

Dany Pham said, "I think it's really hard conversating with you cuz you're thinking so fast!"
Melodie said, "Seriously, you do think extremely fast!"
Friends complained, "It's hard to conversate with you cuz you're always moving so fast!"
Mom said, "It's hard to talk to you because you are always talking so fast!"
Dad said, "Slow down! You're just going too fast!"

I ride the scooter at 80 to driving class.

Driving coach said, "Slow down! Don't go so fast!"

I ride the scooter with my sister up the hill.

Athena said, "Slow down! Don't go so fast!"

Fast forwarded a movie because it was too slow.
Fast forwarded a song because it was too slow.
Jumped to the end of a book because it was taking too long.
Took 3 minutes showers.

Enjoyed speeding, a lot... cuz that's the one time when I felt the whole world is moving with me, at the same speed.

Always on the edge, always moving through the world with super sonic speed, and then wondering...
why is the world so slow?

but the truth is...

You're too fast. Slow Down! Enjoy life, enjoy the moment, enjoy each breathe... slow down and see what you really feel, what you really want, what you are really moving towards... just... slow... down...

The Facebook.com

2007-07-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

It's an amazing thing. (Just promised myself to stop being so negative about things)...

Spent a lot of time on it today, to be honest, but, not a bad thing. I discovered old friends, new friends, old love, new love, old fun, new fun...

Tali, Mindy, Ben, Pyumm ( ? )... Dreamed of Ohio again after forgetting it.

I guess I am the truely Nostalgic type. Living in the past. Good that recently I've been really living in the present (amazing, really).

Each of these friends are people I really admired, even as a small child. Each of them fascinates me. It's funny, I'm as rude as a bull, but I am constantly fascinated by people, some times a bit intimidated by their accomplishments... Yet, I never really look at the full picture, the right picture, the real picture... We were once the same, and they never gave up on their dreams... But I did. I let someone else start to decide for me, and I lost control of my life to him. Maybe he loves me, but he can't be me, and I can't be him.

So, it's not about rebellion anymore. It's merely about being me. I always talk about wanting to be me, always screaming for being me, but I am the last person who really did that. And then I grieve, I blue down, I melt into misery for not having the freedom to be myself. No one can tell me what to do except for myself.

So here goes. I am me. :) I want to be more of me, and I can feel it... more and more and more...

Dancing

2007-07-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

New hobbie... Ballroom dancing. Decided that I will go also on wednesday (since the teacher said it's okay) just to watch. Will get a practice shoe first, but I'm aiming for this really lovely Latin Ballroom Dancing shoes. :P

Learned Tengo today. Got commented by the teacher as "fast learner" and got questioned more than once with, "Are you sure you never learned this before?" And then someone commented on possible future competition for amatures... Got interested...

When I am dancing, I can't stop smiling. It doesn't matter what people say to me, or that I'm almost always dancing with very very old guys with fishy hands (:P) I'm having so much fun that I really don't care. I probably smile more than the whole class added together and are so hyper that the teacher actually said, "you mind as well as buy two pair of shoes..."

Next course: Latin Dance.

I think I like the "stop+curve" feeling for tengo already... There's something very, hum, subtle about it. Although the music we danced to wasn't what I thought to be best (Taiwanese old tengo pretend to be music), yet, you can feel this bitter passion even with just the basic steps. Makes me think of the song Roxxane from Moulin Rouge, or the tengo scene with "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"... Make me also interested in Argentina...

Mexicans in coming... :P There's free Salsa lessons Friday night at Salsa Cubana in Taichung, will head there this Friday to check it out. :P

What I've Done

2007-07-08T18:44:00.000+08:00

And if this song can yet strike your heart, then listen. Though only a repetition of what others have for ages and ages mentioned, listen to your heart then to the world.

Have we walked ourselves into a world that... has no future? (What is the future? where is the future? why is it that I see nothing and none of anything?)

Just listen. What should you be doing? What should you be thinking? Where should we be going?

GOOOOOD....

2007-07-01T01:22:00.000+08:00

I finally discovered the hidden question that was lodged in my heart. Or, not so much a question, but a doubt. Now, it's re-directing and re-modeling.

The problem is, the original business plans were far too, hum... school oriented. To the degree that they seem like school reports. This isn't due so much to the fact that I am incapable of writing else-wise (as my other project plans are not so school-oriented), but simply the original direction was far too limited under certain strong external influences (aka board). If we continue on this path, we'll not succeed, in fact, we'll have more and more trouble on the way, finding obstacles in every developmental direction. The whole process is wrong, and should be altered and changed.

First.... Products are important, but they are not everything, nor do they need to be the first thing that you are definite about. There's no need to design into the detail, especially if you are the CEO. You give a general direction, then you worry about other things. For example, with our website, it changes day by day, the point isn't building a website, nor the website itself, the point is what service is provided, what's the focus point, what's the killer application? What's the killer idea?! YouTube and Flickr and Wretch, etc all sells "privacy" and "sharing"... it's not their website nor what they use that matters, it is these concepts that really counts.

Second... Any process should start with finding questions, and then you can answer them. You don't ask for answers without letting others know what the questions is, and you don't do that to yourself either. Spend the time to find the questions, and then spend the time to answer them carefully, spend the time talking to people and hearing different opinions, spend the time testing and re-testing your ideas.

Third... Know your market. Market survey doesn't need to wait for your service/product to be complete before it is carried out. In fact, there should be one survey done before you start doing anything. You need to know what's the present status quo of the market you are going into. For example, does everyone love YouTube? Why? What do they want more from it? What do people need? And so on, this way, you won't spend all your time in futile making a product that the market does not want.

Fourth... Know your opponents. Same ideas as above, only deeper. What's the history? What's it about? What's their strategies? Their statistics? These are very important. It's always important to know what you are going against, if just to safe yourself from another futile work period only to find that, damn... my competitor have already been doing that for decades...

Fifth... If the employee doesn't work, change. Maybe in a school club there's the problem of, "but he's my friend." or "but he's her son", etc. Yet, for the well-being of a company, sometimes the actual results are more important. Chose your team carefully and strictly.

Sixth... Depend on no one. This isn't to say no collaboration, it's to say that you don't want to depend everything on someone else. People are not reliable when they don't see the profits, and have not the same passion as yourself for any business. People are not reliable, period. If you want to do something, make sure that you are the one who knows what goes on in it. If you are the boss, you are the only person that cannot be missing from the team, anyone else can be replaced, but not you. If you are over-reliant on your tech-team, allowing them to make most of the decisions, you might end up being the one that's excused from the game instead of them, or you might have problems when they are excused. Power-structure, grrrr.

Seventh... Board is to be respected, but since CEO is the one working onsite... let the CEO decide.

Eighth... this isn't a game, it's a business... it's not school clubs... it's business... no one cares what educational values you have, and no one will take that as the reason to support you. Unless, of course, they are education based organizations.

Old friends are gold

2007-06-30T14:59:00.000+08:00

Even after years and months and weeks and days and longer than imaginable durations...

you speak to each other, and still find that mutual language.

Old friends are gold, and friends do last forever.

很認真的思考了人生

2007-06-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

現在這個階段要一定的努力一定的往前一定的衝一定的猛一定的不放棄一定的不要被打敗

現在的我，要更加油！

不夠，一切都不夠！要成功，要夢想，就要往前筆直的衝～

不要害怕！壓力是一定會有，克服它，就有一個更美麗的天空！

Personality test

2007-06-29T23:14:00.001+08:00

Did a personality test the other day, was quite accurate. Well, I liked it probably because it was a very positive one. Seems like I'm just another passionate, insane person who desparately want to have a better life and get more out of life as a whole. Not that bad of an idea, actually, to be honest. :P

June 29, 2007

2007-06-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

Almost past my month. Today was a lovely day filled with mindless thoughts. Why do I spend so much time doing nothing when I should be doing something? This, I often wonder at myself. Me and my dreadfully lazy self, the self that sits for hours playing games online and browsing websites. Not been in the website browsing mood lately, however, I should pick it up again. It's a frightening world, indeed, but information is information. The more the better, the deeper the greater.

Part of this original brain has come to a dead-stop, not the first time, and not the last time. It's like as if it demands some rest, although this time, time simply will not allow it. The physical body demands action, too much action, so much that the brain, if not able to fulfill it, will be conquered by this rising desire.

A lot of thoughts are running in my mind and I am constantly wondering if it will clear up. Perhaps a few books more will help it clear itself. There was a line from a msn contact: Great mind discuss ideas, average mind discuss events and weak mind discuss people. My mentor(s) say: Spend the time doing something, instead of worrying about the people who doesn't matter at all.

A friend of mine mentioned something about self-refusal, and acceptance of the past self, thoughts of the future self. I always liked to think of my future as being more successful than now, yet, I always feel, when looking back, that I only become less and less successful. Maybe that's too much unnecessary thinking, indeed. Think about ideas, girl! You want to be a great mind, no?

The rains fell side-ways today. Had an umbrella with me, but still, it showered into my body. Wasn't a very successful shower, however, only partially got me. One of those days when your determination to do something can be truly defined. If you are determined, you'd accomplish anything. If not, well, there's never the consideration of if not. Do or do not, there is no try.

Mother asked... maybe it's your ears that makes you so insecure and so unconfident. Wouldn't want to think of it, but maybe. Maybe it's the ears that makes me so ambitious and wanting, maybe. Ambition, a very wicked thing. It's the one thing that might make one great, but it is also the thing that will keep Gates lonely. The competitive genes are in our body, given by mother nature, and will never go away, not one step of the day.

All my friends are so amazing, everyone I meet are amazing... what to do with this ambition?

We can but endure it.

Work. I love it. I seriously do. I love the feeling of not being allowed to rest because there are too much either work or fun or whatever to do. Time is so scarce. We only live so long. Maybe I shouldn't say it's work that I love, but that I love to be doing something productive, something nice, something lasting, something... that ends up in something. It's far too fascinating, that exciting sensation, the feeling of speed, of everything.

Today I feel melancholic

2007-06-29T02:03:00.000+08:00

Tired from work.

Today, I feel melancholic. Missing...

A sky filled with stars, and a Mars somewhere inside...

Shhhhhhhh......

我看到世界的另一端

2007-06-27T08:26:00.000+08:00

那是彩色的你知道嗎？

可惜的是，你似乎不懂我嚮往的那個世界。

而我害怕在此逗留，停滯而不前進。

上帝說過你是我的人選…

你會與我同進退嗎？

在這個女人靠不了男人的年代，沒有必要justify任何得事情。

我也不會在去炫耀我自己（沒羽毛偏說有羽毛）

因為眼前的生活過好比一切都更重要。

比過去更重要，也比未來更重要。

你的夢，你要如何達成它？

work........

2007-06-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

Work......... c'est tout

Definitely going brain-dead

2007-06-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

Groar... another one of those very painful painful painful moments
when i feel like my brain just isn't functioning anymore, well, it isn't
and i am not entirely sure what exactly i am doing except the fact that i am actually
surprisingly doing something..........

and GOD said... "MURDER"! and one more brain-cell died.

Wayne's World

2007-06-25T14:12:00.000+08:00

Wicked.

Okay, I know it's wicked late to be seeing this movie, but anyways, I just did (after I don't know how many years)... :P

It's a really wicked movie. :P I liked it a lot, although my mother's opinion is... she had no idea what's going on.

It was fun, and, well... just fun to watch. :)

Somehow.......... still reminds me of... =.= a monkey... ZRO

Crush

2007-06-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

My over-powering energy, lost at direction, is slowly crushing down into pieces the shallow relationships i have with the few which i treasure. this energy, like that of the sun, never-ending, in a fussion, threatening to takeaway everything with it into a burning hell of nothing and nothing and nothing. so i deprived myself of the joy and love and sweetness of companionship, and in doing so, crushing it even more until nothing is left but a shattering emptiness. it's not that i don't feel, i feel too much. it's not the i am not patient, but time goes by too slowly for me. and what of a future?

what is it that always i am waiting?

Something for TWN

2007-06-23T11:30:00.000+08:00

If you wanna do something for TWN, you have to put your heart here first.

Then, you have to make small actions.

Then, you have to get into business.

This, is an island of business, of business people, the past and present and future.

Then, you have to have faith, absolute faith in this island and this country.

Then, you have to see the world, see the size of the world, see how far we can go.

Then, you have to be famous, make Taiwan famous with you.

Then, you have to come from a common family, a simple background, and work yourself up.

Why? Because that's the power of Taiwan. Not the bureaucracy, not the rich, not the fancy, but the common.

And you know, that's why we need to be equal here, because in Taiwan... true Democracy CAN happen.

With the right leader, the right directions...

We can be a true jewel, carved from a raw diamond stone.

Headaches

2007-06-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

The webworld is so big, I wonder how does one survive in this mud-puddle?!

Headaches.... ><

Think, Naomi! Think!

--

Gosh! They've been in this all their lives, they've lived their lives out-thinking the big guys...
Just what makes you think you can out-think them?

If you can't compete with them, co-operate with them... stupid... ><

Stress, Pressure, Depression

2007-06-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

I've been working relatively more than before (since Finland), but still not enough for my standard....

I've been working on some relatively interesting projects and getting my head moving, but not enough for my standard...

Or, is it the social standard, and not mine?

Stress, Pressure, Depression... when did that become an everyday thing?

Browse the titles of all the msn nicknames, what do you see? All these struggles, all these people seeking a way out of life, a way to breathe... just a breathe...

Determination! Persistance! All these shouts! Endless shouts and shouts and shouts!

What exactly is the problem? Especially when I always here these things from people whom I respect. Really amazing people who can take the world into their hands with ease worrying themselves to death and then... loosing the world from their worries.

Why aren't life as simple as before? Why have we made everything more complicated, harder to understand, harder to learn, harder to improve, harder to live?

Somehow I think it's not that people are not determined enough, it's that since they have been pushed and pushed and pushed all their lives, they are getting tired. Especially Asians.

Imagine not sleeping enough all your life. No wonder we are short.

Imagine not being allowed to question the authority. No wonder we are quiet.

Imagine so many things.

Maybe just Asians....

--

Will the developing countries ever become developed?

I would say, not really.

Who gains the most from China's mass market?

The foreign investers, of course... and them, from those "Developed" nations.

Raindrops keep falling on my head...

2007-06-20T14:42:00.001+08:00

Distractions

2007-06-20T14:31:00.000+08:00

Can't focus.

Just heard from another team of their progress, and now feeling a bit horrible for my lack (but then, they have 9 people working together, each in charge of one or two things... we have... hum... don't wanna talk about it). ><

FOCUS!

Work away, girl! work away!

Bullet with Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkin

2007-06-20T14:29:00.000+08:00

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

(chorus)
Even though I know - I suppose Ill show
All my cool and cold-like old job
Despite all my rage Im still just a rat in a cage (2x)
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage Im still just a rat in a cage

Now Im naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want, I want to change
And what have you got when you feel the same

(chorus)

(chorus 2)
Tell me Im the only one
Tell me theres no other one
Jesus was an only son
Tell me Im the chosen one
Jesus was an only son for you

(chorus)
(chorus 2)

Despite all my rage Im still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage Im still just a rat in a cage
And I still believe that I cannot be saved

--

The world is still too big, just now it's a big big vampire, that's all...

Very cute video

2007-06-19T13:10:00.000+08:00

Doesn't this remind you of highschool times? :) Nostalgia, definitely I am getting the full-batch of it, whatever I had not before.

It makes me really want to cherish everything I have right now. Especially friendship.

Somehow it feels like actually... Taiwanese people are... very... cute... :) We never grow up. :P

Really adorable and funny... :P

This is nice... :)

--

If you can understand the lyrics, you can see part of the Taiwanese spirit. We're passionate people, full of life and smile. We are daring, daring to love, to get what we want. :) Or, this is what the video tells.

Chthonic (Taiwan Metal Band)

2007-06-19T12:58:00.000+08:00

What i found interesting is the instrument used. Erhu is a very traditional Chinese instrument, however, it doesn't provide strong enough of a feel to the music. It's very violin sounding, perhaps the reason why it "fits" somewhat. However, what about more traditional, even less western sounding instruments?

However... the erhu really gives it a nice touch~ :)

I don't like the way they look though... yet, thanks to them, we've actually tried at this genre... :P

Hum......... hum....... hum.......

I guess the thing is that they don't feel natural enough... @@ I wonder how to make this fit with our language?!

At least... it's not... "j-pop/rock" style... @@

Lapland

2007-06-19T01:14:00.002+08:00

Wouldn't it be nice to travel there again.

A guitar in hand. A voice in stand. A book or two...

And snow, and sauna, and cold ice, and Lapin Kulta, and Lordi, and Apocalyptica....

And reindeer, and solitude, and wilderness, and music...

And art, and nights, and two hour day-time, and drunk santas...

And fireplaces, and sausages, and marshmellows, and Finlandia...

And Salmiakki, and heavy metal, and Metallica, and Oomph!, and Tool...

And Finnish nose, and pink sunrise, and skiing, and fucking expensive restraunts, and frozen trees...

And the northern light, and fucking cold, and abolute quietness, and hibernation...

And moikka, and heippa, and Finnish language, and elves on the run...

And nostalgia, and only us with memories, and red-wine too much, and card-playing...

And a Finland we all remember... and a beautiful winter...

And a reunion, with the land of dreams...

How I miss Finland... and how there I wish to be...

--

Lapland, the total ideal of what I call "solitude heaven"... :P

Finland, the total ideal of what I call "marvelous place to live"... :P

To Q

2007-06-19T01:14:00.001+08:00

Learn Chinese. It won't kill u. lofl...

To my Helsinki darlings

2007-06-18T23:58:00.001+08:00

And so, another year has passed. How we miss each other...

All you darlings, Raquel, Mace, Rod, Ana Maria, Raquel, Xin, Som, Miriam, Quintin, Tamas, Pavel, Katerina, Agustin, Armando, Graham, Uye, Maxim, Siem, Lukas, Miguel, Dominik, Fei, Melodie (:P), Jeni, Zuzana, Frederico, Inga, Flavien, JD, Taylor, Jiabin, Jennifer, Lucy, Bin, Martin, Ben, Devon, Johanna, Mikael, Mikko, Timmo, Reima, Kaelle, Bjor, Joonas, Frank, Xin, Fabricio, Pierre, Miguel (architect), Gaonan, Gab, Charlotte, Leo, Ana, Squirrel, Eeva, Eva, Hitomi, Niko, Marta, Rachel,... hopefully I didn't miss anyone on this list... ><

I miss you all... and all the lovely finns I met there, and all the lovely people i met in general.

Wouldn't it be great to have a big reunion in Helsinki at Barfly? :P

Despite the fact I didn't learn much academically in Finland, I did learn a lot about life and about friendship and about treasuring people. Each of these individuals I met there are craved into my memory in the most beautiful manner. All the ups and downs, good and bads.

My father commented the other day that no friend of mine remembers me. I think, and am sure that no matter how time moves and changes, we are still all good friends. :) 10 years, 20 years from now, we will still be good friends. :)

Wherever you are in the world. :)

Funny news

2007-06-15T11:32:00.001+08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6751777.stm

And, i would say, this is the reason why people want FREEDOM!!! (stupid conservatives)

What a day~

2007-06-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

What a day, filled with surprises... :)

24... what does it mean to be 24? For me, it means everything... it's the time I set as the turning point of life, either up or either down...

All ups today... :) So, I take it it's uphill from here... :) Or, matters not how, I'll make it uphills from here... :)

--

Thx 2 all the lovely people wishing me blessings around the world...

And... I discovered that it might not be such a bad idea to be a bit less, hum, mysterious sometimes~ :P

Just a thought

2007-06-13T08:37:00.000+08:00

Does meeting people online count as meeting people?

My fortune the other day was that I'd meet either a stranger or someone I liked so I should watch my appearance... Didn't meet anyone worth mentioning physically, met a lot of people online though...

--

Am I finally turning into a geek?

More Die Happy

2007-06-12T18:01:00.000+08:00

When I watch these videos, I wonder... have I missed out too much in life?

Need..... more.... ><

Edening Contemporary

2007-06-11T16:03:00.000+08:00

Nothing and quiet and fragile moments with pain the soul is held
Waiting, what for the waiting? For something of someone never comes
White paper, black characters, hand leads mind, pend leads hand, who leads pen?
And the fated reality still sits on the ghostly steps of a rainful rainful day
Just another rainful rainful day, when the mind stops to think and nothing
Nothing and quiet and fragile moments stretch accross this horizon
The lonely wait, the momentary wait, the passive wait, the never ending wait
For this sky to change, to color and change and the grey to go away
For this moment to pass, to pass on into something else, something less wasting
White paper, black words, who leads who in this game?
Red of red, plucked from the virgin tree, the taste of Eden Lost in Contemporary.

--

excuse the poor composition, rusty little thing

Girls in the industry - Die Happy

2007-06-10T18:43:00.000+08:00

They actually really do sound happy... @@

Smile

2007-06-10T18:39:00.000+08:00

This video is wicked nice~

L'Ame Immortelle

2007-06-10T18:09:00.000+08:00

Very lovely voice.... I like them...

YouTube can be lovely~

2007-06-10T18:00:00.000+08:00

Nice clip... goosebumps~ ><

Orgasmatic Music

2007-06-09T17:13:00.000+08:00

freaky...

Apparently, I've been feeling a bit out of place all day today, but I just turned on Godsmack on my ipod, and... WOW

I get little giggles going on all over my body. Just like when I saw beautiful Berlin.

Wicked, just discovered my Orgasmatic music.

(Yes, it's been officially a month since I've been addicted to them, literally...)

--

okay, time to get back into research for these music, how is it made?

Would have been great if true

2007-06-09T16:34:00.001+08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6733203.stm

Would have been great if it was true, this green-blooded man.

I've never shed green-blood myself, but I still believe that one day, Martians will be back looking for us.

But then, actually Martians don't shed green blood... :P They shed same with us. Maybe that's why Mars is so red, all the soil is rich in iron from the deceased in the past. Hum, could be an interesting theory. :P

Still, would have been great if true, at least then, I can laugh in the face of scientists and say, "Not everything can be explained by science!"

Hardcore over-view

2007-06-09T11:43:00.000+08:00

When I was at the party at Bamblero in Panama City, I think it was Alfredo or someone else who said that I'm really hardcore. Well, I've always been hardcore. 40 % liqour out the bottle, 6 hours dancing non-stop, all nighters, etc. The only thing I haven't been hardcore with over the past 4 years or so is studies. @@ I mean, I was too busy being a hardcore partier, but I don't actually regret it. :P At least, I had a life, and a life worth envying. :) At least I was happy in general, happy to the degree that it might make friends jealous.

Hardcore, I like that, and I prefer being hardcore all the way. :) (okay, keep your thinking in the cage)... :P

rain rain rain

2007-06-08T11:22:00.000+08:00

It's been rainning ever since I got back from Panama (of which, I still haven't finished writing about... :P).

I think it'll keep raining for another decades or so. Something funny about the climate? Definitely. The rainning season for Taiwan is somewhat in April and May, not June. We had serious dry winter, and now serious rainny summer, weird. ><

Have to admit that the weather is starting to scare me. The weather, the world news, the local news, etc. SCARY!

What can we do about it? Revolutionalize the world. :P

A finite of infinites

2007-06-08T11:14:00.000+08:00

1. A friend just told me that I can talk to him anytime when I am not busy cuz he is online 24/7.

2. I just got out of a jet-lag (or I hope I did).

3. Time is a bit disoriented for me at the moment (as always).

The combination of the above three just got me thinking about the concept of time and the feeling of infinite within the finite.

Life, is finite, yet somehow it always feels endless. They say that technically you won't feel that life is ending until moments before it does. Maybe it is a gift given to us by GOD then, to live in an infinite way. You see, any miracle can be accomplished within this infinity.

"Time, what a tricky little thing." - Larry from 'Closer'.

If you really think about it, what is the meaning of time? We, as humans, are the ones who set the clock, set a finity to our time. There's the minutes passing, the hours ending, the end of "a day", etc. There must be once in the past a time when people simply thought, "Oh, the sun sets and rises and sets and rises, so..... what? it will keep setting and rising and setting and rising..."

Okay, technically when I write, I tend not to know what I am writing or if my writing makes any sense because I tend not to really be me when I am writing which makes the full content of this absolutely stupidly awkward sounding.

Okay... the above is more or less a complain from someone who's totally confused with time and have been doing the wonderful job of chasing time for a long time.

When we are old enough to feel it...

2007-06-06T12:23:00.001+08:00

When we are old enough to feel the world, we are sad.

Who can we blame except for ourselves for all this pain that is running all around the world? All these sorrow, all these bloodshed. Sometimes we may wonder if God has abandoned us, but the reality is that we have abandoned God. We have set ourselves on a path of destruction.

Every day I sit here waiting for the day when the world ends. It will end. It will end much faster and much sooner than we expect. What little peace we have in our house-hold, even that, may no longer exist.

I wish I was living in the medieval times.

Perhaps the real development of history... the spiral development, isn't going up but going down, like down a toilet.

What does it matter what we do? What does it matter what dreams we have? What does it matter... for anything at all?

All the golden ages are in the past, what is to come of the future? We work our asses off to make lives even harder for our childrens. The world is more polluted, more violent, more of anything but good.

If we are old enough to really feel the world, we will be sad.

What can we do then? Tired of surviving. Is there still anything that can be done?! Make a difference, make a change, make the world a better place.

上司須承擔所有後果 - 聯合報

2007-06-05T21:28:00.000+08:00

昨天在聯合報上看到一篇文章，寫的是：上司須承擔所有後果

在所有組織行為裡，最遭的情況莫過於在出差錯時，上司突然忘卻責任，或是歸咎部屬。在公司裡，上司與部屬就是一體，因為你是領導人，不須承擔所有後果，無論好壞。

然而有時候，上司無法看到與接觸所有部屬，尤其是大公司，在這種情況下，他們不需為一、兩名不校園供搞怪行負責，但他們有責任實施嚴密的控管制度，抓出這些不肖員工，在察覺有員工出狀況時，也不應等閒視之。上司不是巡街員警，但他們需確保有人做這項工作。

（威爾許談致勝）

Mission Three

2007-06-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

Wicked kool. Sounds like a real neat project in the D.C. area. :) Nicely set.

*note: for fruit from other parts of the world, you can do fast friged delivery within three days, which will keep fruit just as fresh. In this manner, you can get any type of farm goods from all around. At least, that's how we do it in Taiwan. We've gotta have this system, cuz we're totally dependent on importing food, and we're wicked about freshness.... lol

*note: if you are interested, i'll see if i can find some places for you guys to see in Taiwan. my parents know some tea planters. :P

I want...

2007-06-04T01:46:00.000+08:00

to win...

And I will...

Panama Rage I

2007-05-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

http://www.daflea.com

We are currently stuck at the airport. Me Team and me. Which reminds me that we should have group pictures on the website.

Still an hour to go before taking the flight. Since there's nothing much else to do, I am sitting here relaxing myself quite a bit. It's a very interesting feeling, actually. Having been working like... 24 hours max for the past few weeks, it's... sensational when you find yourself sitting in a place where... no one will bother you, you are completely alone, and... there's nothing in a hurry to do.

Laver already fell asleep. Poor guys. I was a tyrant and ordered that he keep me company while I worked on the business plan the night before. A bit cruel, but... oh well... company helps. Neither one of us slept, but the result is a promotion video and a business plan. Both are not as finely done as I had hoped, but... we will improve when we get back, I guess.

Inja is reading a book. He's a fascinating guy. He is either working, laughing, reading, thinking, creating, joking, lecturing, or... something on that side. He's passionate, that is for sure. :)

Okay... time to catch the plane. :)

What is more important than love?

2007-05-29T01:17:00.001+08:00

What is more important than love?

What's Happening in China?!

2007-05-27T21:50:00.000+08:00

http://blog.roodo.com/gamy543/archives/1884599.html

Hilarious... really... ><

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2007-05-27T20:04:00.000+08:00

"Butterfly" By Performing Monkeys

Funny... really funny looking...

Butterfly on poppy

Accidental discovery... a parrot headbanging to Artic Monkey

Okay... this is supposed to be bad for their brains, right?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that's more like it~

--

The story must go on!

FREEDOM

2007-05-27T18:24:00.001+08:00

What is more important than Freedom?

Pretty

2007-05-27T01:03:00.001+08:00

hum

2007-05-25T19:29:00.000+08:00

And just nothing nice can come out of you, can it?

no compliments... even at this moment, when i am crushed...

would you like to see me crushed again?

Thrilling truth

2007-05-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

Discovered a thrilling truth.

The reason that despite the fact I post a lot on blogs I actually don't so frequently talk about what I am doing, or even if I do talk about what I am doing, I always code it, (now, if you every read my bbs board, you will see this following factor quite clearly), or else I'll have the whole msg, post, blog locked/invisible/private/not public, etc., whatever....

What exactly is my infatuation with privacy?!

Despite my envy at seeing how marvelous other people's lives are, how many things they are doing, and WOW...

I forgot... I'm doing quite a bit, only that I don't have the gut/ability/desire/want/need to tell... @@

--

What more can I ask for in life?
A bit more sleep, maybe... :P

Apocalyptica

2007-05-24T23:13:00.000+08:00

Back to addiction... need someone to knock me back into work or else I know I'll be sitting here listening to their music all day and feeling it move me from the depth... way down inside... (need to check their tour time)

hot hot hot hot hot!!!!! (great.... now how am i going to sleep?)

--

I think they have a new Album coming up. Will have to order it from abroad, or else... hum... going to LA for a few hours next week... can make a few snip purchases... :P

07.Dez.2007 20:00 Melkweg Amsterdam <-- sounds tempting

http://www.themerchsociety.de/apocalyptica/index.php?agnr=1567&PHPSESSID=931d27efb9bca3e2302dae4ca536e12d
Want this... ><

The necessities in the morning

2007-05-24T08:35:00.000+08:00

Heavy load of Godsmack at the moment...

I should put together a breakfast CD... :P

--

That and the goddamned rash! why the fuck is it still so persistant!

--

Another necessity in the morning, blogging, youtubing, flickring, and.... soon... DaFleaing. <-- I sense the addiction

What's the general view on need of privacy online? (well, you're online anways, what do you expect?)

--

Oh... and let's get the business running

Elevator -- This is quite educational

2007-05-23T16:04:00.000+08:00

Know you don't like this... but

2007-05-23T12:06:00.000+08:00

please not before 29... nothing superstitious...

just... despite the desire, i think the time isn't right before then...

ambitions

2007-05-23T12:04:00.001+08:00

I can feel the full of it in the heart

But... afraid to loose too much with this ambition...
Yet, knowing myself... I know that to pursue this ambition will make me a happier self...

So here I am, on the right path... to prove you all wrong...

You non-believers!

--

recent meeting w/ family members made me indeed rather furious~

Health

2007-05-23T11:23:00.000+08:00

What I don't understand is, even if I live a healthy life, I can never seem to manage to stay constantly healthy.

The thing is, first of all, I am allergic to... almost everything!!! Then, my skin is sensitive to almost everything... What's more?! My stomach is sensitive to almost anything...

The most problematic is the SKIN problem, actually... When you constantly have rashes... And then you have more rashes, and even more rashes... When your sensitivite to metal is... grrrr... so dense that if you touch metal for, let's say, 5 minutes, it might start a rash (serious)...

And then you get diagnosed with Eczema, and for some weird reason, Sun Allergy, and put that together with Metal allergy...

You ears, when you put earring on, will never... ever... heal...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay... enough screaming, just... continue living...

Dreams

2007-05-20T10:11:00.000+08:00

I think it's the childhood guy back again. This time, it's interesting. We are all (a huge crowd of girls) wearing something white, in this case, I guess it's wedding gown, except for me, I think. We are all taking a group picture. He's wearing the same black that matches his jet black hair. He stands next to me, his desires for me burning as my desires for him burns.

Then, I ran off to get a group of children who started a fire behind the rocks. I stopped it from my dream, but one of the girl have been burnt to death. I see her body right in front of me, so tiny and still burning on the inside. I noticed something wrong about the rocks, it's a trap. I tried to climb out, but cannot. I dropped down to the sand, and started running, but the escape just seems further and further away from me. And I can feel, this was his doing, he was trapping me here.

I've always dreamed of him in the past, sometimes more than a dream. This dream was also very sexual, like him leaning right into my face, him leaning right into me. I would take that as a sign of my sexual desires being unfulfilled recently (duh).

To wear a wedding dress in your dream, indicates that you are evaluating and assessing your personal relationship.
To see someone else wearing a wedding dress, suggests that you are feeling inferior or unworthy.

White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. However, in Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning.

To dream that all your clothes in the closet are white, suggests that you need to lighten up. You may have recently been feeling a little on the depressed side. Perhaps you were going through some crisis. It is time� to move on. You need to change your attitude and get a� grip of your inner emotions.

To dream that you jump over a wall, signifies that you will overcome some tough obstacles and succeed.

To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to get a good understanding and gain more information on some issue. You need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship.

To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within.
The loss of a child, signifies fallen hopes or a project.
To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed.

Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering your life. Your thoughts and views are changing.
To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort. See Dream Bank: "Line Of Fire"

To see something burning, indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore.� Alternatively, it may suggests that you need to take time off for yourself and relax.

To see rocks in your dream, signifies permanence and stability as expressed in the familiar phrase "as solid as a rock". It may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship. Or you may be contemplating some changes in your life that will lay the groundwork for a more solid foundation. On the other hand rocks may also symbolize stubbornness, disharmony and unhappiness.
To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointments.

To dream that you are setting a trap, indicates that you are trying desperately to hold onto a relationship, old habits or ways.
To dream that you are trapped or caught in a trap, suggests that you are feeling confined and restricted in your job, career, health, or a personal relationship. You may be in a rut or tired of the same daily monotony.

--

Then I woke up, decided to go back to sleep to find the guy. The only problem is, when you want to find him, he is never there. When you don't want him there, he always makes sure he's in the way. Basically, I ran through series of dreams (I think about 3), where I know that I am dreaming, and that I am dreaming so that I can find him. Meaning, restless sleep.

Dreamed of Melodie and some friends of mine that I actually don't know. Dreamed of having tea with Melodie, meeting a friend of Melodie's who was interested, very much, in Melodie. Dreamed of Ivo living in one of the dorms in the building we were at, and we tried to find his room number through the mailbox, but didn't succeed.

Dreamed... many weird things.

French Band?!

2007-05-20T06:24:00.000+08:00

interesting... (haven't a single clue what he is saying)...

No offense

2007-05-20T06:23:00.001+08:00

This is hilarious

Femal vocals

2007-05-20T05:53:00.000+08:00

Who said girls can't rock?!

Otep (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otep)

(Interview)

Godsmack

2007-05-20T05:29:00.000+08:00

http://www.godsmack.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godsmack

I like the vocal's voice... and they have quite a few nice songs (couldn't find my fav. HOLLOW on youtube though)
But... I definitely don't like the vocal's look... ><
And, kool... he's a Wiccan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiccan)... Prolly explains his eccentricness...

Vodoo

I Stand Alone (Just... listen to the music... I guess not all singers are good actors... @@)

Awake (I like the drums in this one)

Whatever

Spiral

Keep Away

Anticipation

2007-05-19T16:41:00.001+08:00

Excited, quiet, gentle anticipation...

Fierce... upcoming... :)

Feeling the blood boil again... enjoy

Reading list

2007-05-19T08:11:00.000+08:00

Decided to put down my reading list and if anyone feel the desire, please add to it for me... :)

I'm lacking books to read.

The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
The Poetics of Science Fiction, Peter Stockwell
The Correction, Jonathan Franzen
Psycholinguistic Models of Production, Dechert and Raupach
Competiting for the Future, Hamel Prahalad
The Idea and Practice of General Education, University of Chicago
舊金山下雨了, 王文華
國音學
實用現代漢語語法
當代語用學
華語文教學規範語理論基礎
華語語音學（上）
Love is the Killer App, Tom Sanders (would like more of his books)
網際網路法
智慧財產管理總論
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (attempting to finish), Susana Clark
Writers Dreaming, Naomi Epel
I, Asimov, Isaac Asimov
The Four Books, James legge
...

Hai had a few books of suggestion, which I would like to include into this list.
It is obvious that it is a rather messy list, unorganized, but anyways, they are all books that I find the need to read, either for sake of fun, or for work, or for business-related issues.

Any more suggestion, especially of philosophy related or history (acient) related will be welcomed.
Culture and law related, or human rights related, also welcomed.

Thanks to all the people who are nice enough to throw one or two entries into this list. :)

For all ya boys out there!

2007-05-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/ithinkilovemywife/trailera/

Okay... technically, i think... marriage should never get this scary...

And... well... too early to say anything...

What is sex without love?

2007-05-18T18:44:00.000+08:00

http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/goodluckchuck/large.html

Hear out the last line of this trailer.

Definitely on movie list... hahahahahaha

Germany or the World the same?

2007-05-18T12:18:00.000+08:00

" We were well off, otherwise we wouldn't have taken to the streets."
This is an extract from an article Ivo translated for me.

This line. It is rather tremendous, if you think about it. I wish, I can post this to the world.

The author was speaking of the comparison of Germany in 1967 and the present. Somehow I sense a degree of, hum, nostalgia. Originally, I had opposed nostalgia to an extreme, but the more I observed of the society, the more I am nostalgic. It isn't that life in the past was better or anything, since you cannot compare. I, for one, have no interest in returning to the time when women were deprived of their rights. However, I cannot but miss the times when "respect", "discipline", "organization", "authority", etc. were a part of life. When people had sense of morality, when people cared about the world and each other, when people did want too much, just enough. The time before capitalism, the time before materialism, the time before all this insane fantasy about endless worships for money. There are people with money enough to burn, and people dying from starvation. What's wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING.

(Seriously, this world makes me want to attempt to start a cult)... :P

We were well off, otherwise we wouldn't have taken to the streets.

This phrase was put in a part describing the comparison of nowaday and the past. The line before it was "Nowadays, in our times of seeming deprived authority, authority is faceless, she calls herself free market society and intimidates with globalization, she hides behind anonymous "necessities", objective requirements and appears invincible. For nowadays' youngsters it's a lot more difficult than back then." Revolution are so often started by those with the money and the power. They revolutionize without doing too much thinking, and then, changing the world, creates even more people without money and power, without means of survival.

Live it up. This is a phrase more proper for the present society than anything else. We're all trying to survive it, and forgot that we were born to "live a life". Well, we created a society that we called improvement so that we may all become a tiny robot, trying to survive in a sea of "improvements".

The only way to survive this

2007-05-17T02:42:00.000+08:00

The only way to survive this is not to go mad...

--

Produce, produce, produce...
Just... pour it out, damn it!

Popular Blog

2007-05-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

Been reading a bit too much online these days, but will only increase... ><

Popular blogs. Been wondering about how to make my own blog popular.

Presently, I have 5 blogs.
Two on Blogger,
One on Xanga,
One on Wretch (Taiwan),
One on UDN (Taiwan).

The two on blogger are private English. Wretch is private Chinese. Xanga is experimental. UDN is for publishing purposes.

How do I make a blog truely, thrilling?

Would like the experience of having hundreds of people attached to my blog day and night, reading up heated stories, commenting on them with the same degree of heat and passion.

@@

*sigh*

It is definitely something worth thinking about.
Prolly... more photo taking will make a difference, in the end.

Something that reminded me of something

2007-05-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

Just read something that reminded me of something and so I replied it with something, which I hope would have been something relating to the something I read and would have been something helpful to the person who wrote the something I read which I replied something to.

This is the longest something sentence I've written so far, I think.... @@ Indeed fitting the theory of crap and shit and domination of the world.

Suddenly feel like propaganding this blog and the theory/religion of crap and shit... wonder if it will ever reach the same evangelist position as that of the Scientology (someone tried once with a theory that we all came from the toe-nail germs).

Douglas Adams would have agreed with my actions, I am certain. Not sure about Asimov, he might look at me and say, "What's you got to do with this whole crap and shit thing?"

--

A friend of mine, someone I once commented to be talented, extremely, of arts and literature, is now locked up (guess where).
A friend of mine, someone I can actually relate to extremely, is now in a state I fear day and night that one day I will be in.
That same friend of mine, stroke a queer but long desired conversation within me and myself and my other friend in relation.

--

We never got out of Finland.
Was just reading Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. At the same time wondering the reason why this book, in particular, made me feel quite uncomfortable about several things. Then, I finally understood. It reminded me extremely of my feelings for Finland. The description of Faerie and the people there, are so precisely the way I see Finland that... I am intrigued by it.

Finland. Faerie. Arthur. Elves. Fantasy. Magic.

Are these not the things I craved for all my life, longing to be a part of?

We never got out of Finland.
For many exchange students, it was merely an experience. For me, it was more like a life-time.
Unlike many exchange students, I experienced... too different a thing.
I saw the magic in the woods, the elves dancing.
I saw Merlin in display, I saw the land of the light and the land of the gloom.
I saw pink mists flying, and I saw discipline in the midst of decadence.
I saw myself melt away to become something/someone I was not, and then back again to someone I will never be again.
Like a wash in the pagan river, like a path to Avalon... like leaving the reality behind...
I never came back...

Maybe that is why I am not satisfied with my life as present, no matter what I do... I cannot put my heart here, because I've lost it there... In Finland... in Germany (duh)... in Europe...

Because I never woke up from the pink mist of the morning rising on the frozen lake while I walked with Peter Pan to his island of Neverland. Peter Pan flew away, and I lost myself in the mists, forgetting the key to flying.

How I long for Finland. I just long for Finland. The place I had called home the day I arrived, and a country where I could belong. At least there, I am so foreign, I wasn't foreign anymore.

happy thoughts

2007-05-16T20:47:00.000+08:00

Someone, because of me... found her dream... :) come true...

so... i CAN do something good for the world after all... even if it was such a small and simple act... :)

contentment, is true happiness... :)